


Sweet Child of Mine

by Not_a_Mastermind



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cancer, Childbirth, Fake Science, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 08:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7501818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_Mastermind/pseuds/Not_a_Mastermind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared thought he had it all. Family, friends, a good job, a decent home and an adorable daughter. Then everything seems to crumble when his baby girl falls gravely ill and he must find a way to save her. Her salvation lies with a young rancher named Jensen who is just as broken as Jared was once happy. As he works to gain Jensen’s help he starts to heal Jensen and bring him back to life. But can he convince Jensen to do the same for his daughter?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you first to blondebitz for picking my story to create art for. Every one check out the masterpost here http://blondebitz.livejournal.com/420887.html it's amazing. Thank you for being so patient with me and for creating very wonderful, beautiful art! Second thanks to kinkyqu33nspn for her beta work, you saved my bacon at the last minute after my holiday computer meltdown and rewriting a few thousand words that had been erased. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own supernatural, or any of its fine actors or their relatives. I also am not a doctor so any medical science here was only mildly researched if at all and the truth stretched to work for this story, it's not real.

 

 

 

**Prologue**

 

Jensen doesn’t think there has ever been a time when he didn’t love Scott. Ever since Scott had stood up for Jensen in middle school Jensen was attracted to him. At first he didn’t know what the feelings he felt towards Scott were and when he did understand them he had hidden his feelings, afraid that Scott wouldn’t love him back.

 

“Damn it his blood pressure and heart rate are through the roof, and his breathing is labored. Where the hell is the doctor?”

 

Him and Scott horsing around throwing a baseball around at the park, him showing Scott how to ride a horse at his grandfather’s ranch, a trip to the lake holding hands as the ran and jumped off the dock into the cool water, tossing marshmallows at each other over a campfire grill in the backyard. All accompanied by the flutter of butterfly wings in his belly and a nervousness that always had his cheeks flushing red and his body a step away from trembling.

 

“He’s starting to convulse lay him flat!”

 

“Watch his air way.”

 

“Make sure his IV doesn’t come out.”

 

“Is that blood? He’s bleeding doctor!”

 

“Call the OR and get Dr. Slater, as soon as he’s stable he needs immediate surgery.”

 

But to his great surprise and growing faith in fate and happy ever afters Scott confessed that he did love him in return. They dated and were a strong couple their last two years of high school. The only blip was when he first announced that he was gay and that he was dating Scott his father had withdrawn from him. His father didn’t accept him but was never cruel to him during those last two years. His mother was supportive at least and his sister was too young to care and his brother already out of the house. It was only with a little sadness that Jensen gave up his dream of medicine and studied agriculture instead to attend the same college as Scott. His mother thought this was a bad choice and seemed to lose some of her faith in him and grew a little distant like his father while he and Scott studied hard at college. It was high school graduation that Jensen gave his virginity to Scott and with the start of college soon after that that Scott wheedled him into getting semi-permanent birth control in the form of the newest intrauterine device (IUD). Jensen was part of the three percent of the male population that were knows as Carries because they could get pregnant and bare children like women. And besides using a condom an IUD was the best form of birth control for carriers. The pill only went so far for male biology and had no greater than a seventy percent chance of working no matter what formula was used to make it.

 

“You know I love you and I’ll be your family Jensen, just us is all we need sweetheart. Your parents are wrong about us, what we have is forever and they’ll come around eventually you’ll see. But we don’t need any accidents to distract us from our studies right now. You can have the IUD removed when we graduate, there will be plenty of time for family later I promise.” Scott had given him a bundle of brochures on the IUD he’d picked out for him.

 

It had made him a little uncomfortable but as he looked at Scott he could see that Scott loved him and was just thinking of their future. And he was right, it would be harder to finish college with a baby or finish at all should he get pregnant. “Fine, I’ll do it but you still have to wear condoms.” He could tell Scott didn’t like this idea but he agreed. A week later Scott dropped him off at the doctor’s office to get his IUD implanted and picked him up after with surprise take out dinner and a movie. A crime drama called Primal Fear that was downright creepy but just oh so good when it was over.

 

Over the four years of college he and Scott had hit a few rough patches but always worked things through. Scott had been there for him in their second year of college when his father had had a sudden heart attack while driving and crashed. It killed him instantly along with the driver of the car he’d hit and put his mother into a coma. His mother hadn’t recovered and had passed away a year after his father. The losses and the debt from the hospital bills had driven his brother to gamble to get money to pay it all off, and Josh was good at it. Once the debt had been paid off though Josh couldn’t let go of gambling and his luck turned as it does with all gambling addicts. In the middle of his fourth year he took time off when he got news that Josh had been shot and killed over a heated game of poker. His sister, who had been in foster care since their mother had died couldn’t take all the grief and had overdosed on prescription pills.

 

It seemed like Scott was the only good thing left in his life and he clung to his lover. He finished his degree a little over half a year after Scott had finished his. Scott had been so restless while he waited for him to finish that he didn’t object when they left town the day after his graduation so Scott could take up a post in New York. To make up for the hasty move and tiny apartment they rented in a so-so neighborhood Scott took him out for an expensive dinner and proposed with a ring bought using the money from his first paycheck. The lights and the noise of the city had always bothered him from day one, but he held out hope that he would get used to it like Scott insisted he would. Scott insisted that they could have great jobs and a meaningful life in the city. So he did what he could to find things about the city he could like and would overcome the noise and the crowds.

 

“I need more light here nurse, move the overhead. Someone stop that sink the sound is distracting.”

 

“I need more room, step away.”

 

“More suction here, where is that bag of blood? Get it set up on the left I’m about to tie off this section.”

 

“He’s crashing, get the cart on stand by! I need an adrenaline shot, is the blood going? Get a tube in him and start compressions.”

 

“Flat line! Charge the paddles, gel, everyone clear, shock! Compressions, stats?”

 

“Still flat line.”

 

“Charge, everyone clear, shock!”

 

“We’ve got him doctor, heart rate increasing, blood pressure rising.”

 

“Get back at it then, let’s finish this before anything else happens.”

 

He hadn’t been feeling well for quite some time before he went to the doctors and the shock of the diagnosis was gut wrenching. Cancer. He had cancer. The IUD that he had gotten had been discontinued two years after it came out. Any not in use were recalled when it had been discovered they had a flaw that the company had tried to cover up from the FDA. Supposedly anyone who had one implanted was to be notified and have the IUD removed but many of the records had been destroyed. Some of the IUDs had been sold to a shell corporation who had titled the product differently when sold to doctors. Thus the doctors who had used those didn’t know that there had been a recall. So he never knew that he was walking around with a ticking time bomb inside him and hadn’t had it removed. He had wanted to when he had finished college but Scott had begged, pleaded and finally persuaded him not to. They were just starting out in the work force and their new lives, they would always have time for children later Scott had reasoned. But now it looked like later might never happen.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1

 

>  
> 
> “Mr. Ackles hello, I’m Doctor Bennington your Oncologist. You are at Baylor University Medical Center. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for two days following emergency surgery to remove a defective IUD and a few masses of cancers cells. While in surgery you flat lined twice and almost bled out. You are stable now but you will need to have chemotherapy to eliminate the cancer cells we weren’t able to remove.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen doesn’t hear any more of what the doctor is telling him as he retreats into his mind in fear and panic. All his thoughts swirl around death, cancer, he must be cursed, death, cancer, he must be cursed, round and round in his head until there is nothing but numbness and white noise as he loses consciousness. When he comes to again Doctor Bennington is standing by his bedside this time explaining that he had a panic attack and had to be sedated. Being now closely monitored by a nurse there to keep an eagle eye on his vitals Doctor Bennington explains again what happened to him and what is next for him in his course of treatment. Jensen is to stay at least a week in the hospital to recover from his surgery and to consult with Doctor Bennington and his alternate Doctor Horne on his upcoming chemotherapy. He will be evaluated a week and two weeks after he returns home from his surgery to see if he has recovered enough and strong enough to start the chemo. The chemo will be strong and will last at least six to seven months when he will be re-evaluated and screened to see his progress.
> 
>  
> 
> When the Doctor and nurse finally leave after what feels like an eternity Scott is allowed in to see him. He almost breaks down into tears but manages just barely to hold himself together. Scott looks sad too but as his short visit goes on he notices that Scott is distant from him. Besides taking his hand when he first arrived has kept himself pressed back in his chair not touching or even fulling looking at him. He supposes Scott must be in some shock, after all he did just nearly die. But it hurts that when he needs Scott’s comfort and support the most Scott can’t seem to manage.
> 
>  
> 
> Over the next week Jensen is in the hospital Scott remains distant and only visits for short periods of time. He always brings flowers and tries to seem happy but just can’t seem to pull it off successfully. Jensen is disheartened by this a he tries to reason and understand that it’s hard for Scott as well as him. But he just can’t seem to stop worrying about Scott’s attitude. Scott holds his hand as Dr. Bennington details what form of chemotherapy he will have to go through. Its possible side effects of weight loss, hair loss, the probability of weakening his bones, his possibility of nausea/sickness, his tiredness and general weakness, his inability to keep warm and his weakened immune system which could lead to being sick a lot. The good news if there is such a thing in this predicament, is that he and Scott were signed up for a support group. Also they can get discounts on separate independent counseling/therapy if needed. Jensen is reassured that he is not in this fight alone that the doctors and other patients of various cancers in the support group are there for him. With that said Dr. Bennington gives him a smile that he has perfected just for these speeches and leaves.
> 
>  
> 
> There is silence in the room for a few minutes before Scott speaks up “I can’t make it to the first therapy session I’m sorry.” He doesn’t look all that sorry and Jensen begins to get angry. “I already have an event planned but I’ll make it to the others. I promise” Scott pulls his PDA out of the briefcase he has taken to carrying everywhere with him. “I’ll just put them in my schedule” he makes notes and Jensen loses some of the anger. He supposes it isn’t good for Scott to cancel plans he already made to attend a session. Especially if they are for work which as of late he has been very busy with. And the first session can’t be that important as he’ll probably just be introduced. He’ll sit and listen to other people and get a feel for it all since he hasn’t actually started his treatments. There is the surgery to talk about and the original diagnosis but what could he really share and why would he want to open up so soon to total strangers? He supposes he’ll be alright for his first therapy session alone.
> 
>  
> 
> He and Scott make arrangements for him to come home tomorrow and Scott leaves soon after that. Later Jensen is feeling a little alone a depressed when he is gone. But Scott had said that he needed to get some things for the apartment so that it would be ready for Jensen when he came home. Jensen couldn’t think of what they would need so soon but he supposed it was better to have it early and ready rather than right when they needed it. Or worse had to go out and get something for emergencies. Jensen half paid attention to the TV in the corner of the room that was playing some soap opera as he passed the afternoon and evening before dinner and sleep.
> 
>  
> 
> The next day begins as boring as the last had ended. But in the afternoon he is gently placed in a wheel chair and taken down to the ground floor and into what would normally be called a conference room. But instead of a big table and chairs around it it’s just the chairs. They are in a circle with odd spaces between that must be for wheelchairs like his. There are already a few people milling about as the nurse adds his chair to the circle and deploys the breaks so he can’t get away. He doesn’t pay much attention to the other people in the room and is content to look into his lap. At least until someone all but collapses into the chair next to his. He would have ignored this person too except that a hand is thrust into his line of vision and waved frantically until he looks up and over at its owner.
> 
>  
> 
> The hand belongs to a man who looks slightly older then him. With dark brown hair and very blue eyes and a grin so wide Jensen thinks the man must be in the wrong place. Because no one here should be happy, either that or the guy is just crazy.
> 
>  
> 
> “Misha Collins” the man introduces himself and tilts his hand for a shake.
> 
>  
> 
> He just stared at it but it didn’t move and the man never lost his smile as he waited for him to take it. Seeing that Misha might stay frozen like that for however long it took him to reply in kind he reached out and shook it before looking back down at his lap. Not offering up his own name he hoped the guy would take a hint and leave him alone. No such luck.
> 
>  
> 
> “So what are you in for?” Misha asked using the cheesy jail cell line from countless movies and shows.
> 
>  
> 
> He looked up and just stated at Misha until the man spoke again as if he had answered.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m in for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma myself, but the doctors caught it pretty early. I’m almost done with my treatment.”
> 
>  
> 
> Still Jensen didn’t answer and he was saved at least momentarily when a woman in a pantsuit called for everyone to take their seats. Once the group had settled more or less he counted about eleven people including the woman who introduced herself as Dr. Cleary. Then as if they were all back in elementary school she introduced Jensen and asked if he had anything to share with the group. He declined and she went on to have the group introduce themselves to him. From there if anyone had anything to share about how they were doing with their types of cancer, treatments, families and whatnot they were welcome to share. A few of the other patients spoke up but he hadn’t really listened being a bit overwhelmed after being introduced. He didn’t think he would have that kind of reaction and it worried him and he spent time worrying over that and by the end of the session all he wanted to do was go back to his room and call Scott to see how long before he’d arrive.
> 
>  
> 
> However before he could be wheeled away Dr. Cleary made Misha his sponsor for getting into the swing of therapy or to answer of help him with any needs in looking for other support. Misha had smiled at him like a loon and he knew then that he might never get rid of the man.
> 
>  
> 
> When he finally reached his room he was told he could make a short phone call and then he would be cleaned before dinner arrived. He didn’t think he would be there for dinner but didn’t say anything to the nurse before she left. As soon as she was gone he was reaching for the phone and calling Scott’s cell. It ran a few times and he began to worry he’d have to leave a message and he was beginning to get angry when Scott picked up.
> 
>  
> 
> “Hello?” Scoot sounded just a little confused.
> 
>  
> 
> “Scott it’s me” Jensen didn’t say his name knowing Scott would recognize his voice. “I forgot the hospital number isn’t in your phone” the anger was fading as he realized that Scott might not have answered the unfamiliar number at all but was glad he had before voicemail could pick it up. “Um do you know when you are going to come pick me up?”
> 
>  
> 
> There was some silence on Scott’s end before he sighed “I’m still at the office but I’ll leave when I can. I’ll arrive by eight or so, will they check you out then?”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen’s anger flared again but he tried to calm down so it wouldn’t come out in his voice. He knew Scott needed to work but couldn’t he have taken a little time off to come get him at a reasonable hour? “I’m check with the doctor but I think they will. Just get here as soon as you can okay, I miss you and I’m going a bit crazy just laying here.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I miss you too” Scott said in a soft voice “I’ll be there before you know it. I have to go so I can get everything finished before I pick you up.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll see you soon” Jensen smiled a little before Scott hung up. He’d would have to ask the doctor if he could check out so late. But if the answer was no he’d do it now and sit in the lobby or check out AMA, against medical advice. One way or another he was going home tonight.
> 
>  
> 
> In the end his doctor approved but asked to see him to check him over the next week when he returned for a therapy session to make sure he was ready to start his treatment. He told Jensen to page him when Scott arrived and he would bring the paperwork. He was in a good enough mood he didn’t completely mind the sponge bath the friendly nurse gave him. And he actually ate all the food on his plate even though it wasn’t at all appetizing. Scott didn’t arrive until almost nine but he did bring flowers and Jensen let it slide because he was just so happy to be leaving.
> 
>  
> 
> Once at home Scott got him settled and told him what he had bought for Jensen’s future recovery, explained where everything was and helped him get comfortable in bed. He said he had a few things left to do for work and he would join Jensen soon. Jensen was asleep before Scott came to bed. It was something Jensen was going to have to get used to.
> 
>  
> 
> For the first two months of Jensen’s treatment and therapy Scott was mostly present and attentive as well as sympathetic. But as time wore on after that things changed. Scott grew more distant and with drawing first physically then emotionally from him, less patient and tolerant snapping at him over little things, and worked more forcing Jensen to rely on Misha who was still stuck to his side as support. Scott had stopped going with him to any and all therapy and would go see someone on his own.
> 
>  
> 
> Misha had finished his treatment and was in remission and expected to stay that way. But he still went to therapy and he kept up his mentorship of Jensen even though Jensen no longer needed that part. Misha had stepped in to fill Scott’s receding shoes in every way buy sexually. Not that Jensen wanted or could handle sex at this point.
> 
>  
> 
> The Chemotherapy made him very weak and constantly tired and he had no appetite and had lost a lot of weight. His hair had not fallen out completely but had gotten much thinner. And his skin was pale and he bruised easily now and was continuously cold. Also the bills were beginning to rack up now with all the treatments and extra medication he needed to manage the symptoms of the chemo. His immune system was a mess as well and he had to wear a face mask most of the time if he wanted to go out.
> 
>  
> 
> The last straw seemed to come when a representative of the IUD company needed him in Texas for a statement at a trial. The state medical board also wanted testimony for their trial of the owners and doctors who had made and sold the devices. He would get a little money from this, not much but something was better than nothing. Also there was another private matter the lawyers had to go over with him about future medical aspects of his implantation. The trial was set for four months in the future and Jensen would be finishing his treatments then.
> 
>  
> 
> Scott refused to go and they had a terrible argument. Scott had the audacity to accuse him of cheating with Misha and he pointed out that he wasn’t really in any shape to do so even if he wanted to (which he didn’t). Furthermore Scott had cheated (a message had been left by a lover or one night stand on their answering machine). Plus it had been Scott’s idea to get the IUD and who had convinced him to not have it removed. Scott complained of what a burden Jensen had become and that he couldn’t live with Jensen anymore. Jensen hurt and angry had taken off the ring Scott had given him, which now hung around his neck on a chain and threw it at Scott. And just like that the engagement and relationship was over. Scott stormed out and Jensen collapsed on the floor and sobbed until he passed out. Upon waking a few hours later Scott hadn’t returned and Jensen called Misha.
> 
>  
> 
> Misha of course came right over and held Jensen as he had another but smaller breakdown. Misha was angry with Scott for not agreeing to go with Jensen to Texas and announced under no uncertain terms that he would be alone. Misha would go with him and he couldn’t do anything to stop him. Misha then helped Jensen pack up as much stuff as they could fit in Misha’s car and a cab that they called and Jensen moved into Misha’s tiny apartment. Misha slept curled around Jensen for comfort that night helping him when he woke from nightmares or just to cry. Jensen slept most of the next day was well and in the afternoon when he was awake they returned to Jensen’s apartment to get the rest of what they couldn’t bring the previous day. Scott was nowhere to be seen but he had added to the pile of things for Jensen to take. They made two trips instead of pay for a cab this time and Jensen held on to the key planning to mail to back to the landlord and get his name taken off the lease.
> 
>  
> 
> The next week was a long process of changing his addresses on his medical forms and bills. Informing his doctors and arranging to get the last of his treatments in Texas since he would be there for the last two he would need. He talked over the phone with the doctor who would take over his care in Texas and give him the last of his treatments. The new doctor would also fill out any prescriptions needed until he could return to his home. He was welcome to their therapy groups if he wanted and Misha as well when informed that Misha would be traveling with him. He said he would consider it and that he had arranged phone call sessions with his therapist here. Arrangements had been made with lawyers to be flown to Texas and put up in a hotel for his part of the travel. He told them his partner was coming because he still needed assistance for medical reasons and they gave him a plane ticket for Misha as well. During that week he also made a few more trips to the old apartment while Scott was out to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Also to collect any mail that had been sent around the time he changed his address so Scott wouldn’t have to deal with it. Or didn’t do anything with it out of anger. Then when he was sure that he had everything he took his name off the lease and gave the key back making sure that he didn’t chip in for that months’ rent. Misha was proud of him for that.
> 
>  
> 
> Things over the next four months went on much as they had for the past three he’d been with Scott. Except for the fact that he didn’t have to see Scott now and he saw a lot more of Misha. There was more crying then before as well and less anger and frustration about worrying over Scott and where he was or what he was going to say. Misha had become like a lover but without the sex and he tried to return the favor in kind. They lived together, ate together, sometimes slept in the same bed. Misha helped him clean himself when he was too weak after a treatment and when he was well enough he cooked meals Misha practically inhaled because he said they were so good. They shared cleaning duty and shopping. They drove each other nuts and cried together and shared everything they were feeling. Sometimes it almost wasn’t worth it to go to therapy because they supported each other but they still need an outside influence or occasional moderator. Also with medical bills beginning to pile up Jensen need to vent about that and he didn’t want to put that on Misha and talked about that the least.
> 
>  
> 
> When the time came for the trip to Texas Jensen didn’t really think about Scott anymore. But Misha had kept him in mind and if money was going to be given out for this tremendous fiasco then he would make sure that Scott wouldn’t get a dime. After all Jensen had been unable to remember who had paid for the IUD surgery in the first place. Misha was determined Jensen would get that money, after all he was the one who had suffered.
> 
>  
> 
> Arriving in Texas an aid from the lawyers met them and got them checked into a hotel and gave them a tentative schedule of the trial that they would see and testify in as well as appointments to see if they could settle anything medical wise. Last was an appointment to see the company’s lawyer about some left over paperwork and privet medical stuff they weren’t yet privy to. With schedules in hand Misha took him to the hospital to check in there and meet the doctor who would be in charge of his treatments from there on out.
> 
>  
> 
> Doctor Green was a present woman in her mid-forties but still looked to be just out of her twenties. Her specialty had been women’s reproductive organ cancer. She was also ran a general obgyn practice on weekends. Because of things like the IUD Jensen had had and other growing health factors she had studied several cases of cancer in male carriers. She was writing new practice procedures and papers on cancer of carrier reproductive organs. This was a bit of a new field since it wasn’t all that common and she was one of the forerunners in the field and had done many case studies so far including his. With him as a patient she had read over all his files and had talked with his doctors to see what progress had been made. Jensen felt quite reassured that the rest of his treatments would go well. His first treatment with her would start at the end of the week and he arranged to come in the next day to let her do a physical and take a bunch of samples for her study. It would also help in making sure he was on course as well, not that she didn’t mistrust his previous doctors she just wanted to see for herself.
> 
>  
> 
> With Misha by his side the next morning he checked himself into the Dr. Green’s care and tests. The physical went as well as it could given his current state. She gave him some tips that she used on her female patients that seemed to do well for male carries to help with appetite and the bruises. She took blood, urine and x-rays as well as an MRI. The x-rays came back before they left and she assured him that although he was weak and hadn’t been getting the best nutrition as of late his bone structure looked good. They made an appointment for chemo and to sit in on a group therapy session and that was a full day. Jensen napped for a bit when they got back to their room and woke for dinner and a TV program before going back to bed.
> 
>  
> 
> The next few days they went and watched some of the trail before Jensen had his chemo and then the next day they just stayed in their room. The day after the lawyer came to visit and explained what material he would be going over the day they called Jensen to the stand. Jensen would be one of sixteen witnesses in all that would be called to testify at this point. Since the list was so long and each person could be cross examined, which with the amount of people might not be likely, they might not get to him at all that day. If each person was cross examined it would just be a few questions and more than likely drag out the time until he got to the stand by a day or two. He would have testified before his last chemo treatment and after the company’s lawyer would meet with him. Before he left to go back to New York he would be told if he would be getting any money.
> 
>  
> 
> In the end he was called on the second day not the first of the testimony days the lawyer had set out for his group. He had to explain why he had chosen the company’s IUD over the others on the market. When had it put in, what that experience was like, what it was like having it, were there any early warning signs that something was wrong and why he’d never taken it out prior to his emergency surgery. He had to explain the type of cancer he had gotten from it and what the treatment had done to him (or at least what couldn’t be seen from just looking at him). On cross the company’s lawyer tried to pick apart that he’d never gotten a letter or notice warning about the complication to the device or that he didn’t see it on any news. Then he got criticized that he must know he got the cause of his cancer wrong because he hadn’t sued the company over it like so many of the other men who had received their IUD’s did. But in the end the company’s lawyer’s arguments failed and Jensen’s testimony along with the other men’s was too much. Jensen’s part of the trial was considered a success but it was just part of a bigger, longer court case against the company. Jensen would be reimbursed the cost of the IUD, the surgery to implant it and the before and after checkups.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen had a bit of time to see the city before his last chemo treatment and arrange for a last checkup. Another day at the hotel and a group therapy session made him feel at least a bit human before his last check up and flight home two days after. The treatment went fine and when he was awake at all the next day Misha did little things to celebrate that Jensen was finished. There was confetti thrown over and about him (the maids were going to need a good tip). Cake replaced his balanced mid-day meal while they watched short comedy sketches to make him laugh all found on youtube. Finally Misha gave him a small gift bag of goodies from the therapy group back home.
> 
>  
> 
> He was actually happy when he went in to see Dr. Green for his last appointment. She gave him the good news that his cancer appeared to be gone and he was in remission. They would keep tabs on it through routine checkups that he would have to do every three months, then six, then yearly for the next five to seven years just to be safe but they were confident that if it didn’t show up after the first year and a half he was safe. His blood tests had all come back fine but here was a slight problem with his urine test. Dr. Green wanted to do an ultra sound and take a look at him if she could as an obgyn.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen agreed but asked that Misha stay with him and she agreed as she set up the machine.
> 
>  
> 
> “I apologize for the gel but it has to stay cold if it’s going to work to the best of its ability” she said right before she scooped a big blob of it onto Jensen’s stomach. Jensen winced a bit at the cold but didn’t say anything as Dr. Green worked to wand over Jensen’s abdomen studying the image on the screen with a frown.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen reached out for Misha’s hand and Misha gave him a squeeze of encouragement as he took it.
> 
>  
> 
> Dr. Green didn’t comment of what she was seeing but printed out a few shots and cleaned Jensen up. “Alright I saw a feel things that I want to confirm with a quick look at you obgyn wise and I want to do one more MRI. I will then go over the results with you, does that sound good?”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen wanted some answers now but knew that Dr. Green’s observations weren’t complete. The assessment might not be the best without better data “yeah okay.”
> 
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> 
> Misha continued to hold his hand as he slid down the table and put his feel in the stirrups that Dr. Green attached to the end of the exam table. She then gently loosened him up and used some tool he didn’t even want to know the name of let along see again anytime in his life time. He felt odd being stretched and opened and the object go inside him after so long of nothing going near or in that area. He tried to tense up a bit but Misha and Dr. Green coxed him to relax so she could finish. It took almost half an hour and Jensen was beginning to tense up again from panic when she finally pulled the device out and let him sit back up. By then it was growing late she still wanted to do the MRI. There would be a little bit of a wait time for a machine and it would make them late for the appointment with the company’s lawyer.
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> Jensen wanted his answers though and Misha agreed to go outside and call the lawyer to try and get another appointment. Or to tell them they would handle the matter by phone later. The lawyer arranged instead to come to them since some of the things he wanted to go over included some paper work that they could process right there at the hospital. Misha told them where they would be and then went in to wait with Jensen.
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> The lawyer arrived forty-five minutes later and sat down with them in the smaller waiting hall in front of the MRI room. There were no other patients there so they got down to business. The company while having sold the IUD’s to many doctor’s offices and another company they still held any of the eggs the recipients of their product had removed and stored. With the company now being taken apart and having to give up their facilities and holdings Jensen needed to decide what to do with the eggs he had removed and frozen. His eggs were being kept at this very hospital and the paperwork would be left here for him to decide what to do with them. The company would pay for the eggs to be kept frozen here for at least six months after that it was up to Jensen to pay the cost of any storage. Jensen was stunned not having thought about what would have happened to the eggs he’d had removed. He signed the papers taking back the assets as the company had called them and the lawyer left to go give the paperwork to the hospital staff. It gave him time to think about what he would like to do with them. It was just then that the MRI became available to them. Misha wasn’t allowed into the main chamber room and waited in the hall. Jensen had a long time lying still to think about the fact that he had eggs on ice in some freezer here in the hospital that he hadn’t really thought about in years.
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> They had to wait for Dr. Green to look over the MRI results and during that time Jensen refused to discuss his eggs, he just wanted to think about them alone for a bit more and Misha didn’t press him thank goodness. He felt bad he was being so rude and snappy that he somehow managed to persuade Misha to go get something to eat see as how they had missed lunch and it was nearing dinner. The cherry on top that got Misha out the door was that he would appreciate food too if Misha would get him some too and if he needed Misha before that he could always hold the doctor off and call him back.
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> Dr. Green came in to see him just minutes after Misha had left and there were some colored papers on her clip board. She asked about Misha’s absents but Jensen told her he’d be fine and wanted to know the results of her tests.
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> “This is going to be very hard to hear but it’s actually quite typical for women who have gone through this type of cancer. On carriers it hasn’t been studied that much but I do know of a few other cases so you aren’t alone. It seems that the damage from the IUD and surgery coupled with the chemo has left you sterile. Now the chemo has rendered you sterile for producing children but someday that might change but it’s not likely too. However there is scar tissue to your birth canal and opening to your womb. That combined with the chemo makes carrying a child pretty much impossible. We won’t have to remove your womb or ovaries and you can have anal sex however for a while it might be painful and there is a chance that you will feel uncomfortable after that and may want to practice that anymore.”
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> Dr. Green had used a gentle but firm voice when she had told him all of this pointing to a few of the color papers which were photos taken by the MRI of said scar tissue but Jensen wasn’t really interested in looking. “I am truly sorry Jensen” she used his name to help connect with him and soften the shock of it all. “I know that you are done with the physical part of your treatments until your three month checkup but please keep going to therapy. There are groups out there for people who have become sterile from cancer or treatment I suggest you join one of those groups as well. Now I’m going to go get you your release papers and leave some pamphlets about those therapy groups I mentioned and nurse will bring them to you. I wish you all the best in the future and I want you to call if you need anything, my number will be with the paperwork you’ll get when you leave okay.”
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> She waited until Jensen nodded at her because he was unable to speak at the moment. She got up and gave his shoulder a squeeze of support before she left the room. He could only sit here for a few minutes numb from the news. He had just been told that his eggs, future children were being stored close by only to be told that he could never have them, that they would never be made real warm flesh and blood. He wanted to breakdown, needed to but he’d be damned if he’d do it here. He had just stood up when a knock at the door sounded before a nurse came in.
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> “I have some check out papers for you to sign here” she handed over a clipboard he was very familiar with and he quickly signed all the appropriate lines. And this one is storage here” she held out another clip board but he didn’t take instead he went over to where his close were folded.
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> “Do you mind” he shot over at the nurse whose arm had drooped with the dredged clipboard. “I’d like to leave here sometime today, preferably the sooner the better.
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> “Mr. Ackles about your eggs…” the nurse started and Jensen cut her off.
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> “Destroy them” he almost shouted his voice angry and bitter sounding.
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> “But there are options, they could…” the nurse tried again and was again cut off but this time with more than words.
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> “I don’t want them, just get rid of them!” This time Jensen did shout and his eyes are hard as if he could incinerate them by looking at them if they were placed in front of him.
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> The nurse swallowed and handed over the clipboard she had been clutching. “Just sign the agreement and we’ll take care of it.”
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> Jensen pulled it from her grasp roughly and took the pen from the top almost tearing the paper as he signed the marked spots and some not marked spots in his blind haste to be done not bothering to read anything. He thrust it back at the nurse when he was done “now get out I have to get dressed” he dismissed her.
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> She left the room in a hurry and dropped the clipboard off at the front desk after looking it over to see what Jensen had signed which was just about every line that could be signed. There were a few he hadn’t signed and they had been ones that were highlighted, started at the top, or at the bottom of the forms were typically a doctor would sign. She sighed and shook her head as she went off to do other duties.
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> Jensen mean while dressed and waited for Misha to pick him up. As Jensen left the hospital in the care of his friend his paperwork was collected and processed, orders being logged in various places for action or storage. By the time Jensen was falling asleep in bed that night a large silver canister labeled J. Ackles, Carrier, Texas, Quintlands Medical, Fertility donation was being loaded into a special travel freezer for destination in New York.
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> Jensen and Misha left for New York themselves the next morning to try and put together some semblance of a life. Misha vowing to get Jensen through this latest hurtle and Jensen vowing to never let anyone or anything get very close to him again least they see how broken he was and he wouldn’t have to worry about losing someone (or them losing him) or something should he get sick again.


	3. Chapter 2

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> Jared sighs as he spots his father’s pick-up truck angling towards the curb he is standing at. He loves his family dearly but right now he is dreading having to deal with them. He’d had to break the news to them last minute that his partner now recently ex-partner was not coming for Thanksgiving having broken up with him by phone just three days prior. He and Cole had been together for three and a half years and he had thought Cole would be the one. Just like he had thought Brian might have been the one before that after two years of being together. And he knows it’s kind of odd to say that they were the ones after just that relatively short amount of time relationship wise but before Brian and Cole Jared had been good at playing the field having dates, flings and quarterly relationships before that. In the beginning Jared had tried his luck with both genders before settling down to his preferred male lovers. His parents and siblings had been fine with his choices of partners but his mother was becoming anxious for him to settle down. To be honest he had been ready too. Now it was over and he would have to start again, but not until after all the pitying looks from his family, stilted awkward conversations avoiding Cole’s name while talking about recent life events and the embarrassment that he would now be the only single Padalecki in the house this holiday season was long over. His older brother was married, his younger sister recently engaged and his two youngest cousins were both bringing partners to Thanksgiving dinner. He was headed for a depressing holiday instead of a happy one and he would gladly eat away his sorrows as long as his mother cooked his favorite foods which he was sure he could persuade her to do.
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> He was broken out of his bleak thoughts as the pick-up finally pulled up alongside him and his brother got out of the cab to help him with his bags.
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> “You think you got enough junk there bro?” Jeff asked hefting one of Jared’s bigger bags into the truck bed.
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> “Hello to you too Jeff, good to see you” Jared said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes as he loaded a bag into the truck bed as well.
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> “Welcome home brother” Jeff gave him a half hug, slapping his back after they had loaded all of Jared’s six bags and then hurried back to the driver’s side hopping in and starting the engine as he slammed the door. Jared had to be quick to slide into the passenger seat and had just managed to buckle his seat belt as Jeff started out into the exiting traffic. “As much as I like helping out to come get you I fucking hate airports” Jeff muttered as he worked his way to the highway that would take them home. “Any longer and I think those cranky rent a cop security people would have come over to tell us to get a move along or get a ticket.”
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> Jared laughed for the first time in days and is glad that Jeff is picking him up as Jeff continues to rant about airports, holiday traffic, crazy old people coming south for the winter who can’t drive worth a damn and other things. Jeff who doesn’t usually swear, having a toddler and young child and a wife who insists on being paid for all the “bad words” so the kids don’t pick up said words adds a few here and there in his ranting just to make everything sound odd and keep Jared smiling most of the way home. It isn’t until they get into town that Jared sobers up again, not as much as before and when he landed but the joy has faded a little.
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> Jared and Jeff take the smallest of his bags as they walk to the front door which is opened as they mount the front steps. “My baby home at last” Sherri, Jared’s mother was standing in the door way back lit by what must have been every light in the house on. She hurried over the porch and down a step as Jared set his bags down so his mom could give him a hug. Standing on the upper step his mom was close to his height and was able to rest her head on his shoulder instead of against his chest. “Oh baby your hair is getting longer” she reached up to pull on the ends as she released him from the hug.
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> Jared flushed a little “it’s not that long mama” and it really wasn’t, at least not yet. He had decided to let it grow out a little and see what happened. He had had it short for most of his life and he wanted a change since he was having to start parts of his life all over again.
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> “Well come in come in” Sherri waved towards the door and turned to lead the way. Jared picked his bags back up and followed her, Jeff bringing up the rear. “You can get the rest of your things after you say hello to everyone” Sherri stood aside for them to pass and then closed the door behind them.
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> His bags were once again left in a heap on the ground as Jared walked into the living room to greet his father, sister, her fiancé and his sister in law. He didn’t see the kids anywhere and figured they must be upstairs for a nap. He got hugs from everyone and brief pleasantries were exchanged before he was freed to take his bags to his old room and fetch his others. With all his things in his old room it looked a lot smaller then he remembered it being. Taking it all in he decided to head back down stairs instead of sitting here and feeling sorry for himself at the moment. He hadn’t been downstairs long when a squeal came from the stairs. His nephews were awake.
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> He spent a bit of time with them wresting on the carpet before being kicked outside and playing a quick game of tag. He smiled sheepishly at his mama when she sighed at his messy state when he came in for dinner. Ann did the same to his nephews who tried to copy his shy smile but not making it from the giggles they held in and they made a small mess of the bathroom as they washed up before eating. He was sure that his mother might scold him for making as much of a mess as the children, she often compared him to children sighing that he still was one himself no matter how big he got or how many years had passed.
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> As they all sat down at the table surrounded by family and their partners he felt a pang of sadness that he was unable to achieve this in his life yet. A loving partner by his side and children to adore. He hadn’t brought up children with Brian at all but he had planned to bring them up with Cole. This very weekend actually while they were here and Cole could see his nephews and interact with them. He had known from this teen years that he had wanted to be a father someday. He wasn’t a carrier like the small three percent of the male population and Brian hadn’t been but Cole had. Even if Cole hadn’t wanted to have children physically they could have still adopted. Adoption took time though and Jared wasn’t sure he could go through that after spending the time to get a new partner. At least at the current rate he was going anyway. And what if that partner decided to leave him like his others, then he’d have to start the adoption process all over again just as a single person this time. And as much as the adoption agencies wanted to make everyone believe they had a shot at getting a child not very many single people got to adopt. Foster maybe but adopt, no. And any child entering his house he would want to keep, he couldn’t have kids coming in and out of his life. It would break his heart the way his partners did but on a much more severe level he was sure.
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> Thankfully this dinner wasn’t filled with too much awkwardness about Cole’s absence. When the meal was finished Sherri and Ann and Meg went into the kitchen to plan out the final menu and shopping lists for Thanksgiving dinner along with a cooking plan so that everything could be ready at the same time for the big dinner. To optimize cooking time and space Ann would be making and bringing all the snacks that would be out during the day. While this was going on Gerald, Jeff and Jared minus Meg’s fiancé who had to go to work a late shift and with the help of the boys got out the fancy dishes and linens for the table and the decorations for the house. Next they dug out Christmas decorations from the back of the garage and attic and put them in in the front of the garage so that they could set them up a few days after Thanksgiving.
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> His dad and brother were polite enough to not mention Cole at all and the boys were oblivious that Cole had meant that much to him. He knew he’d have to talk about it sometime and discuss what was going on and what would happen when he returned to New York in the first week of December. He would be back for Christmas and hopefully most of his personal things would have been resolved by then or at least he’d have a plan to move forward. While he was back in New York he had to decide if he was going to stay there or come back home. His parents would support his decision and help him out with a place to stay for a while should he chose to come back. He had a few weeks to make up his mind one way or another.
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> Cole would be moved out of their apartment by the time he got back and if he stayed in New York he’d have to get a new one as they had been sharing rent and he couldn’t make it on his own in their current apartment. Maybe his old teacher and mentor Jeffery Dean Morgan would put him up until he found a new place if he stayed in the city. The man had called the day before his flight home and said that he wanted to see and talk to him when he returned from his Thanksgiving vacation.
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> The only other person he could think of staying with in the city was Chad. He’d met Chad at the beginning of high school and even thought they were so different they had become fast friends. Chad often came off as a goofball and a sleaze but really he was funny, and loyal and didn’t believe in bullshitting when you could just say the truth. After high school he’d only had sporadic contact with Chad until he was a quarter of the way into his third year of grad school. It seemed Chad had become a PI and he had moved to New York for the vast and plentiful amount of clients who would pay handsomely for his services. However as much as he liked Chad he could only take him in short doses and living with him would drive one of them to murder the other before too long. He had planned on seeing Chad after the New Year and if he did decided to stay in New York and Jeff hosted him Chad might know where he could find a good place to live. Chad had somehow gotten himself a great two bedroom apartment with rent control close to Time Square that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. How Chad got it he didn’t want to know the details of but if Chad could help him find a similar place he would shamelessly use his friendship to achieve his goal of comfortable housing.
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> After all the decorations were in easy reach Josh and Ann took the boys home and Jared and his parents watched a bit of a history show about the origins of Thanksgiving before going off to bed. There would be much to do over the next two days. The next day Jared was placed in charge of decorating the house as his parents went shopping for all the food. He was no Martha Stuart but he thought he did a decent enough job and had just sat down when his parents returned. Groaning he got up to help his father unload the car while his mother waited in the kitchen to put everything away. It seemed as if they had bought half the store and when everything was cooked he was sure that a small army could be fed. But then again will all the family over and everyone so large they might qualify as the small army.
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> He and his father got to watch some tv while his mother prepared the pies they would have for desert and baked rolls for the big dinner. He didn’t try to help as he was no great cook and his mother forbid any man from entering her kitchen around Thanksgiving food preparation time. He’d had an uncle who had tried one year who had learned his lesson with a few quick smacks with a wooden spoon. Of course to pick up some of the slack of not cooking once Sherri was done and had the food tucked away he and his father would be the ones washing all the dishes, pots, pans and counters. It was a trade off he took gladly. Much later after the cleaning and the eating of a quick spaghetti dinner he lay in bed and tried to think of exactly what he would say to anyone who asked about Cole the next day. He fell asleep without coming up with an answer that didn’t sound sad, disappointed or angry.
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> He woke up early Thanksgiving and hit the ground running. Last minute cleaning, last minute decoration shifting, making up the dining room for all the guests and even a taxi service for his ancient great aunt and jungle gym for the kids kept him busy and his mind mostly off Cole. While he was out getting his great aunt Jean or playing with the kids outside he was sure his parents must have warned most of their relatives not to mention Cole because only a few asked. He had gone with the simple response of ‘we’re not together anymore’ and a mix between a glance and a glare with neither a frown or smile said in as neutral a tone as possible stopped them from asking more or expressing anything other than a ‘that’s too bad’ in response. One of the worst times he felt and missed Cole’s absence was when everyone finally sat down at the table and the blessings were said and everyone shared what they had been thankful for that year and what they hoped to be thankful for in the coming year. Seeing everyone smiling at loved ones and holding hands and teasing children and each other was hard. Topped off Meg and Liam announced the date of their upcoming wedding and he felt a pang in his heart that weighted down slightly on the happiness he had for his sister and future brother in law. He looked down at his food unless he was spoken to directly or to enter conversations to avoid any pitying looks from his relatives after the announcement. Dessert was a great distraction because once gotten everyone moved about with their plates and he took the opportunity to get away by sitting with the older kids at the separate children’s table.
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> It was a long night and the last relative left close to midnight. His mother was not one to go midnight black Friday shopping, being practical instead and stock piling Christmas gift all year as they came on sale and squirreling them away in a hiding place he and his siblings never had found. So his mom put away what little left overs there were and he and his dad cleaned up again and even took down some of the decorations. He went to bed in the early morning hours exhausted but happy. He slept in late the next morning and when he woke up there was breakfast waiting for him and a text from Jeff Morgan on his phone. Jeff wanted to talk sometime today and he decided that it could wait till he was done eating. In the end he ended up calling Jeff while he was taking outside decorations down and cleaning up the yard.
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> “Ah Jared good timing” Jeff’s gruff but happy voice boomed in his year when his call was answered. His nephews must have been playing with his phone yesterday and he had to turn the volume down.
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> “You want to see me when I get back to New York?” asked readjusting his ear buds and slipping his phone back into his pocket.
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> “Yeah the sooner the better if we can get the ball rolling it would make things a bit easier for me.”
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> “I’ll be back by Tuesday would Wednesday work?” He could hear Jeff scratching at his ever present beard and then papers flipping.
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> “I think that would work,” more papers shuffling “I’ll let my secretary Gen know and she can text you a time, maybe around lunch?”
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> He paused at the news and name of a secretary but shook it off and went back to his work. “Lunch would be good I’ll see you on Wednesday then.”
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> “Perfect, got to go, have a safe flight” and with that the line was dead. Jared didn’t take any offense about the abruptness of the end of the call, Jeff was forever hanging up as soon as whatever information passing had been finished.
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> The rest of his holiday with his family went by to quickly he felt and he didn’t relish the idea of going back to an empty apartment. When he finally did arrive back in New York and managed to get back he stood outside his apartment door for a full five minutes before inserting the key and unlocking the door. He pushed it open and stood looking inside at the dark half empty space that he had once called home that looked so lonely and uninviting now. He sighed and finally stepped inside, dragging his luggage and kicking the door closed behind him. He only turned on one light as he locked up and leaving his bags for the next day went to see if there was anything left in the kitchen to eat before he went to bed early.
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> He was woken way too early on Wednesday morning in his opinion by his phone alerting him that he had a text and a missed call, presumably from Jeff’s secretary. He fumbled for it before finally managing to turn it off, getting up to take a shower and eat breakfast before doing anything productive. His shower was long and his breakfast was half a box of dry cheerios since he had no milk. He would have eaten the whole box but he was supposed to go to lunch with Jeff…he hoped.
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> Turning his phone back on he opened the text first. It asked if lunch at one at Rubioe’s downtown would work then gave him directions and said not to be late and wear something business casual. Not much of an option to go despite the leading question it ended with being a summons. The message was from Jeff informing him that his secretary Gen was joining them for lunch. Jared had heard of Rubioe’s, an Italian themed restaurant, but never been there before. It was a slightly more upscale place then he was used to but not too expensive that it wouldn’t break his bank account to have one meal there. Of course since Jeff had invited him Jeff would most likely buy but just in case he would check his bank balance before he left. Rubioe’s was only half an hour away if traffic was fair and he planned to leave way ahead of time, better early then late his mother had always chided him.
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> Picking out cloths to wear he laid them out on his slightly made bed and went about unpacking his bags from his trip home. His mom had washed and folded all the cloths he had brought except for his sleep shirt and boxers so there wasn’t much to do on that count. Looking around at all the empty space were Cole’s things had been made him a little depressed and reminded him that soon he would be packing up to go too. With that in mind and some time to kill before lunch he decided to get a jump start on packing. He went down the block to a tiny UPS store squeezed between a Starbucks and a store selling cheap souvenirs to tourists. He bought a couple of moving boxes and managed to get them and himself back to the apartment relatively unscathed.
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> Starting with the living room he sorted out what he wanted to keep and what he would try to sell and what he would throw out. From what he would keep anything non-essential for the next two to three weeks was packed up and the boxes labeled and lined against the wall. By the time he was done he had to take another quick shower and hurriedly dressed before rushing off to meet Jeff and Gen for lunch.
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> He arrived at Rubioe’s only a few minutes early and talking to an actual maître d’ was informed that his party had just been seated. A waiter was summoned to take him to the table and when they got there he’s been paying so much attention to his hosts that he almost ran into the waiter who had stopped short to pull out his chair. Jeff was much the same as the last time he’d seen him, maybe a little more gray hair and his beard a little fuller but what surprised him was the secretary, Gen. Because he knew Gen as Genevieve Cortese former friend, high school classmate and one time fling. He had lost touch with her in college and had no idea she was in New York. The last he had heard she was in LA pursuing an acting career.
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> Jeff and Gen stopped the conversation they’d been having when he’d arrived and failed to sit down and Jeff looked a bit puzzled when Gen got up and moved to embrace him in a big hug. It took him a moment to process everything but in the end he hugged back before smiling broadly and sitting down at last, Gen retaking her seat and scooting a little closer to him.
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> “I take it you know each other” Jeff’s voice was amused as he looked back and forth between the two smiling faces.
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> “We went to school together” Jared replied looking to Jeff and seeing his raised eyebrow.
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> “I don’t hear an accent that would suggest so” Jeff’s gazed now stayed on Gen as he waited for her explanation.
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> “I moved to Texas when I was a young teenager and have since worked on masking anything I picked up in LA. I didn’t know Jared was here until you gave me his number and said you wanted to meet. I know it’s not a common name but I wanted to be sure it was my Jared you knew so I invited myself here to see.” Gen was rather smug about the way things had turned out and both Jeff and Jared couldn’t help grinning at her.
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> “Good then it might make things a bit easier” Jeff’s focus was back on Jared, “I asked to meet with you because I want to offer you a job.”
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> Jared was glad he wasn’t drinking or eating anything at the moment as he would have spit it out in surprise. Jeff was a teacher and Jared had only finished college recently. He didn’t know anything about teaching and was sure he didn’t have the qualification to do so even if he wanted to. But before he could reply Jeff and Gen who had been laughing at his reaction clarified.
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> “I don’t take anymore, or at least not full time” Jeff was wiping at a tear in the corner of his eye. “I started my own business about eight months ago or so. It’s going better than I thought it would and only getting better.”
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> “Hence me being his secretary” Gen jumped in “He had so much stuff going on he couldn’t keep it all straight. Now I do all his scheduling, make sure his papers and presentations are ready to go and take all the annoying calls from customers.”
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> “And I have been very busy with making contact with customers and potential customers and drawing up plans and researching permits and trying to get them that I am stretching way too thin. You did exceptional work when you were in my class and you had a lot of great ideas. So I want to hire you to meet with clients and draw up drafts and design things. I’ll do all the background work I’ve been doing and Gen can keep our brains from falling out. What do you say? I’ve got an office already and a growing clientele. Partners?” Jeff laid a card on the table in front of him reading Morgan and Padalecki, Architects and Custom design Inc.
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> Jared couldn’t believe it, what Jeff was offering him, on a silver platter almost literally with lunch was a grad students dream. A job right out of school with an accomplished architect whose name was well known, a partnership at the firm and from Jeff’s own words work pouring in and growth of business assured. Jeff had been so sure that he’d take the job he’d already printed up business cards. Jeff trusted him and more over he trusted Jeff and Gen was an unexpected but welcome bonus. Most important it was what he needed at the moment. A job would allow him to stay in the city, the pay would allow him to get a good place and the coworkers and work would allow him to keep his mind off Cole and any other men.
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> A smile broke out on Jared’s face so wide his cheeks burned and he doubted it would go away any time soon. “Yes, yes I…thank you, I must be dreaming but yes” he picked up the card just to have physical prof in his hands that this was reality.
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> “Great” Jeff held out his hand and Jared took it before Jeff’s arm was all the way extended standing slightly over the table to shake it, so nervous that he was sure he squeezed just a bit too tight and shook too fast. Gen laughed as Jared sat back down and offered her own hand but tilted as if her wanted him to kiss it. It may have been a joke on her part but Jared took it and kissed it anyway making sure to get a little lick in that Gen ewed at and wiped off with exaggeration.
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> They ordered pastas and salad and soup and sat catching up for almost two hours before agreeing that Jared would come in on the following Monday to start. He was giving the office address and told he could come by early if he wanted a tour but he’d get that on Monday if he wanted to wait. Since he still had to figure out his housing situation he declined. Jeff offered him a small advance if he needed it to help in securing a new place but he declined that to, at least for the moment. They parted ways and Jared nearly skipped all the way home he was so happy. He couldn’t wait to tell his family the good news.
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> He called Chad later that night to enlist his help in finding a new place to live after he had called his family. Chad would be happy to help him in return for a favor in the future. When he said he wasn’t going to do anything illegal Chad had assured him he’d never do such a thing. He’s laughed and said he’d remind him of that later. With that out of the way Jared made his plans to box up the rest of his place and plan for his trip home for Christmas. He still had to pack for that and buy plane tickets. He always seemed to procrastinate about that and got charged out the nose for his seats but this year he figured it wouldn’t matter. He’d be making enough in the upcoming year to make up for it. Sleep came easy that night and for several night after.
> 
>  
> 
> But a few days before he was supposed to go home things changed again. He had taken to walking around the city and the park close to his apartment to break up the boredom of packing. It was hard to see all the couple and families out shopping or having fun when he had no one. Yet he had decided that he wouldn’t date again for a while, losing Cole still hurt a bit and he didn’t want to get his hopes up or catch some little fling on the rebound that would be unfair to whoever he was with. But he still wanted the same thing he had wanted with Cole and even Brian. A family. Seeing parents with their kids at the park or skating at the mall or helping them pick out presents was happy and yet sad. If he waited to find a new boyfriend and eventually husband he’d be middle aged by the time they had or adopted kids. And he wanted to be young enough to keep up with his kids and do everything with them and be relatively in good shape to keep up with future grandchildren.
> 
>  
> 
> If he couldn’t have both maybe he could have one, and since he was not going to go out and pick up a man, or woman for that matter he toyed with the idea of having a child. Over the next few days before his trip home he moved most of his things into Gen’s apartment and looked into various ways of having children.


	4. Chapter 3

 

> Jensen had just sat down to dinner when the phone rang. Misha was working late and no one would call him. Plus the late hour was indicative or either a telemarketer or some political or charity organization. But he got up and walked over to the phone anyway. The caller id was a number he didn’t know and the name was listed as Bucksure. He didn’t know of any Bucksure and he was relatively sure Misha didn’t either otherwise he would have heard about it for the name alone. Just for the hell of it and because he was there already he picked up right before the answering machine could start.
> 
>  
> 
> “Hello is this the residence of Jensen Ackles?” A man’s deep even tones with a hint of a southern accent asked.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen had no idea how this man had found out he lived here since his name wasn’t on the lease but the man’s question sounded official. “Speaking.”
> 
>  
> 
> “My name is William Bucksure Esquire, do you mind if I ask you a few questions to determine if you are the Jensen Ackles I’m seeking?”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen didn’t know how many other Jensen Ackles there could be out there, he hoped not a lot but it wasn’t as if his name could be completely unique given the population of the world. Mr. Bucksure was a lawyer and if he was looking for a Jensen Ackles with such dedication as to call personally tehn he supposed he could indulge the man. He had nothing better to do other than eat reheated leftovers as he waited for Misha, “Um alright.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Thanks, now is your full name Jensen Ross Ackles?” Mr. Bucksure started.
> 
>  
> 
> “Yes” was his simple reply. He didn’t offer anything more and just waited for the next question. A brief thought that if this was someone fishing for info to steal his identity they could have it. He didn’t really have anything at the moment and the would be thief might actually have more than him at the moment.
> 
>  
> 
> “You were born on March 1st 1992 to Alan and Donna Ackles?” Mr. Bucksure asked the sound of papers being shuffled could be heard in the background.
> 
>  
> 
> “Yes that’s correct” he was getting nervous now. Why would a lawyer be seeking him? He was making his minimum payments to the hospital and he hadn’t been a witness to any crime or committed any crimes.
> 
>  
> 
> “Good good” Mr. Bucksure sounded relieved. “I used to work for your grandfather Gage Ackles” he went on. “And since the rest the rest of your family has passed on, my condolences by the way, his estate goes to you.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen was confused and it reflected in his vice when he replied. “I don’t understand wouldn’t it have gone to my father years ago? Why are you just getting around to now?” If the estate had been released years ago maybe the money, whatever there was to be had from it, could have helped pay off the debt from his parents deaths and prevented Josh and Mackenzie’s.
> 
>  
> 
> “There was nothing to pass out years ago” now Mr. Bucksure sounded confused.
> 
>  
> 
> “That’s what I don’t understand” Jensen tried to think of when his grandfather had passed away.
> 
>  
> 
> “I think there may have been a miscommunication at some point and your parents neglected to tell you a few things. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news then but Gage just passed away bout a week and a half ago. I’ve been looking for you ever since.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen couldn’t say anything as his brain tried to process this new information. His grandfather whom he thought had died years ago had been alive until last week. The man had never stepped forward when his son, Jensen’s father had died. He hadn’t helped after Josh got into trouble and died. And now he was leaving something to him. He sure as hell hoped it wasn’t debt because Jensen would tell the lawyer he’d been lying about being the right Jensen and go find the man’s corpse to bring him back so he could kill him all over again.
> 
>  
> 
> “There is a lot of paper work to go over and sort out and the sooner the better would be prudent. The area code I have for this number is for New York, is that where you are?” Mr. Bucksure filled in the silence.
> 
>  
> 
> “Um…y-yes…but” Jensen was still having some trouble “what did he…” he couldn’t finish the question but Mr. Bucksure seemed to know what he wanted.
> 
>  
> 
> “He had a stroke and at his age and in his condition it was too much. He’d had a stroke some years back and I’m going to take a guess and say that’s where the miscommunication came in. You were thinking he was already dead instead of just disabled.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen felt bad now for thinking the worst of the man and for not being there for him in some way. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t know” he finally got out. “I don’t want to come off as greedy or presumptuous but what kind of stuff did he leave me? I’ll be honest I’m not in the best position right now and if there is any debt or bills or anything I don’t think I can deal with that right now.”
> 
>  
> 
> “It would be better if we could sort this out in person Mr. Ackles there is a lot to go over but I can tell you he had some insurance that should cover his death and there is some property involved. Now I could come to you but it might take a little time or you could come to me. I’m down in Texas south of Abilene and west of Coleman. If you fly down here you’d come into Fort Worth and rent a car to drive down.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen thought for a moment to decide what he wanted to do. If whatever insurance or whatever policy his grandfather had paid for any hospital and funeral bills he could sell the house and pay off some of his own bills. If there was money left over from the insurance or policy he could use that to pay some of his bills and move into the house. It might be cheaper than living here in the city and with less to pay off on his bills he might have a nice place to live where no one knew him or his past.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll come to you but I might need a few days” Jensen made up his mind.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t think that will be too much of a problem” Mr. Bucksure sounded happier than before. “let me get you my number and you can call me with whatever arrangements you make so I know when to expect you and can have everything ready.” Mr. Bucksure gave Jensen his office number and wished him goodnight before hanging up.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen wasn’t hungry anymore but knew that he had to eat something so he sat at the table and ate his now cold dinner not tasting a bite. His mind kept going over what he would have to do to get ready to go. He would have to talk with Misha as soon as he got home to explain about his grandfather. Then he had to pack and make a budget and plans to get to Texas. Then he had to actually get there. As he cleaned up his dishes and after when he just went and sat down in the living room he tried to think of all the things his grandfather could have left him that would be so tedious that his lawyer would want a fact to face so badly. A house he could sell through a real estate company and insurance papers could be mailed or faxed and funeral arrangements could be made by phone or email. Was there a lot of stuff in his grandfather’s house? Since he had apparently been disabled and elderly was there a car? He was sure there couldn’t be anymore relatives so people were out of the question but maybe his grandfather had pets or a service animal. It was all just so much.
> 
>  
> 
> His thoughts were broken by Misha sweeping in through the front door and calling out “honey I’m home!” It usually got a laugh out of Jensen if he was around to hear it but seeing Jensen on the couch with a sad look on his face Misha dropped everything and went to kneel in front of him and worried look on his face. “Jen what is it? What happened?”
> 
>  
> 
> “My grandfather died” and seeing Misha’s confusion went on before Misha could ask questions. “I thought he had died when I was a teen but apparently not. He’s been disabled and living in Texas. His lawyer called me to settle his estate or whatever. I have decided to go to Texas and see what’s what since there is apparently a house involved with all the paper work.”
> 
>  
> 
> “When do we go?” Was all Misha asked looking right into Jensen’s eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> “You’re coming?” Jensen knew that Misha would want to go with him but had a job and things here and Jensen wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone.
> 
>  
> 
> “Of course I am, now when do we leave?”
> 
>  
> 
> “I was thinking by next week, I need to budget and the airfare won’t break me if I plan at least a little in advance and I need to pack and get my medication in order and notify the therapist” Jensen was ticking off a list of things he would need to do. “You think your boss will be okay with you leaving? I’m not sure how long I’ll be there?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Don’t worry he’ll be fine with it and if he’s not screw it I’ll quite” Misha held up his hand to cut off an objection Jensen was about to say. “Beside I don’t like the job anyway and I can get another. This city is big and there is bound to be something I can do.”
> 
>  
> 
> He gave Misha a big smile “thanks. Now what can I heat up for you for dinner?”
> 
>  
> 
> In the end Misha reheated pizza while Jensen go out his checkbook, laptop and a calendar. While Misha ate they planned a day to leave and booked the cheapest flights they could find. They split the rental for a car they would pick up at the airport to drive to Mr. Bucksure’s firm. With that Jensen made a list of everyone and place he would need to call about his travel plans. Then there was the list of everything he might need on the trip. Misha over looked everything giving it his seal of approval before they went to bed for the night.
> 
>  
> 
> Over the next week Jensen had called Mr. Bucksure to tell him of his plans and set up an appointment. He got an extra appointment to see his therapist to cover some time he would be gone, topped off all his prescriptions and packed. Misha did end up quitting his job but true to form didn’t seem sad or worried about it.
> 
>  
> 
> The flight to Texas was uneventful and most of the drive to Mr. Bucksure’s firm was alright until they got close. They ended up taking a wrong turn and ended up one town over. They were only ten minutes late to their appointment.
> 
>  
> 
> Mr. Bucksure was in his late sixties and was a tall man with tanned skin and a full head of white hair and dark gray eyes. He had a slightly crooked nose and a bushy mustache under it and a firm hand shake when Jensen shook his hand after introductions.
> 
>  
> 
> “Again I am sorry about your grandfather” Mr. Bucksure started once they had been seated and offered coffee or water by his secretary. “Now Gage did have a life insurance policy and health insurance. Most of the hospital bills have been taken care of through those channels but there are a few that you will need to take care of. I have the papers for the life insurance for you to send off and that should cover the rest of those bills and any outstanding credit. Gage didn’t like credit too much so most stuff was paid by check and cash when possible. Now there is some property and a house as well as a business here in town. “The house is paid for and so is the town building. However you’ll have yearly taxes on the properties to take care of. As for money Gage made a decent living and a rough estimate figures about thirty-five thousand in accessible funds. There are others funds and I have the paperwork here” Mr. Bucksure opened a file that been sitting on his desk and pulled out some bank statements. Also I have pictures of the properties and the lands the house sits on. There are some livestock animals as well, here is a list.” He placed all the pictures on the edge of his desk closest to and facing Jensen and Misha.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen was pretty sure he had just fallen down a rabbit hole and was about to take a waltz through wonderland. Spread out before him were pictures of a small but fully functional ranch, cattle and horses, an actual saloon, and a few records of stocks, bonds, and money market CDs. And everything in front of him was apparently his. A gift from a grandfather he thought had dies years ago but had just passed away a few weeks ago. Everything became blurry as tears filled his eyes and his breath started to come in pants as he fought back sobs. A warm comforting hand on his shoulder turned him and pulled him into a tight hug as another hand ran through his hair and soft shushes were whispered into his ear. Jensen made a great effort to calm down so he could deal with the lawyer who must think he was crazy and get thing settled so he could go home and really breakdown. Misha would of course be there for him as he was now and Jensen was glad to have him but at the same time he was angry that it wasn’t Scott.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m sorry” Jensen says to Mr. Bucksure as he wipes his eyes and blows his nose after getting his emotions under some semblance of control and extracting himself from Misha’s arms.
> 
>  
> 
> “It’s quite alright Mr. Ackles, I’ve been an estate lawyer longer than you’ve been alive and I think I’ve seen it all. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, little emotion is good for ya, especially after someone dies. Doesn’t hurt that you get something you weren’t expecting, and you seem like you could have used the good news.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen flushes a little at this but he can’t deny it either. “So, ah, what do I need to do? What about my grandfather?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Well now old Gage knew what he wanted and what he was doing. He planned out his funeral and it’s all paid for you just got to supervise and get the ball rolling.” Mr. Bucksure handed him a few papers “those there are the funeral home he picked, instructions for the service and wake, death certificate and order for his head stone and lastly his obituary. Old Gage wrote his own, knew just what he wanted it to say morbid as it is to think about while you still got time left on this earth.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen flipped through the papers and saw business names, addresses, phone numbers, and other official documents just as Mr. Bucksure was describing and was hit with a wave of thankfulness at his grandfather’s foresight to prepare for his death. “What about his will? Anything else important in it?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Well besides your inheritance there” Mr. Bucksure nodded at the pages still spread out on his desk “he has an itemized list of some small things he wanted friends to have and things he wanted to donate to some charities and local museums. There is also a breakdown of the ranch workers and what they are getting. They have been paid up for the next two months to give you time to decide what to do about the ranch but after that it’s up to you to do the paying.” Mr. Bucksure handed over a few more sheets of paper these covered in numbers and names.
> 
>  
> 
> Misha took these papers and was busy looking them over before thrusting one at Jensen and going back to what he was doing. Jensen had been handed the items list to look over. It was almost a full page and just glancing at it he knew he and Misha were going to be busy for the next few days just trying to find some of the stuff on it. The names of the people listed to receive the stuff had phone numbers or email addresses under them so that would be helpful.
> 
>  
> 
> “Now” Mr. Bucksure said getting their attention back “I just need you to sign these here papers” he pulled more papers from the folder that had held everything and passed then over to Jensen. “It states I have gone over everything with you, advised you on any questions, and have handed over everything relevant. Of course if you have any more questions later you can call and I’d be happy to answer them, Gage was a friend and I want to make sure his last wishes get done right.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen took the new papers and a pen Mr. Bucksure handed him and signed each copy before handing them over to Misha to sign as witness. Mr. Bucksure signed them after looking them over after Misha had signed and tucked them back into the folder and dropping it into his out box.
> 
>  
> 
> “These are yours” Mr. Bucksure took a large key ring out of the folder and handed it to Jensen. Each key that hung from the big ring had a tag hanging off of it. “The tags are there explaining what each key goes to; house, barn, saloon, truck etc. The truck is out back at the moment, been here since Gage passed. You can take it now or come back for it later. You have a week to leave it parked if you can’t take it today. Now seeing that everything’s done you can go and sit in the anteroom and settle yourself a bit or Ms. Loretta down the street at the cowboy café has a nice back booth she lets people who come from my office use to get a good meal to comfort themselves with while they sort through the news and everything. It’s a private corner and no one with bother you there.
> 
>  
> 
> They thanked him, collected all the paperwork and left the office and Misha steered him towards the café Mr. Bucksure had suggested. The place was small and looked nice and cozy and when they entered there was a small scattering of customers. A large black woman came walking up took one look at them and sighed.
> 
>  
> 
> “Aw you poor dears come with me now we’ll get you a little something to cheer you up right quick” She turned and started walking towards the back left of the café. They just followed her to the booth that Mr. Bucksure had assured they’d get. “You sit right down and I’ll be right back with something to drink.” They didn’t say anything until she returned with two big mugs that had whipped cream on top and they discovered were full of hot chocolate when she set the down. “Now unless you boys are allergic to anything I’m gonna get you my special I save just for Mr. Bucksure’s clients.” When they didn’t speak up she turned and left.
> 
>  
> 
> They sat in silence for a minute longer before Jensen spoke up “I want to go see it.”
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>  
> 
> Misha nodded and tapped the folder Jensen had put on the table. “I suggest we take care of some of this first that way if anyone out there asks about what’s happening we can tell them something already. And I am sure that they have waited long enough to bury their friend.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen wince a bit at that but he knew it was true. “So what first?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Let’s mail off the life insurance first so the money can come in for bills. We can do that while we eat and I saw a post office down the street we can mail everything in. Then a trip to the funeral home if it’s close enough and open. The bank stuff can wait I’m sure and you just sent off your latest bills anyway so it’s not an emergency yet. Coming out here had pretty much wiped out whatever Jensen had saved for rent and his next set of bills and he would need the money. Then let’s go see the bar”
> 
>  
> 
> “Saloon” Jensen cut him off with a little smile “the sign said it’s a saloon.”
> 
>  
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> “Tomato tomahto” Misha sing songed “they serve alcohol at a bar and have some food and maybe some live music it’s all the same. But yes that first since it’s here in town, then the farm last.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Ranch” Jensen quipped back and Misha just stared at him. They continued to staring at each other until plates of food were placed in front of them and they looked down at over flowing platters of heavenly smelling and looking food.
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> 
> After a meal that they could happily have died after finishing they visited the places Jensen had inherited. The saloon was okay and ran fairly well according to the bar tender and the waitress that had been on duty. They had both expressed their condolences on the death of Jensen’s grandfather and Jensen took it with thanks.
> 
>  
> 
> The ranch however was a different story from the saloon. It was run down and most of the animals and farmhands were gone. There was Jim Beaver however, a gruff man who had been a friend of Gage’s and had been vet and head of the ranch animals. He stuck around now to do the odd jobs that the absent farmhands had done and to keep up the house and barn as best he could since most the animals had been sold off over the last few years.
> 
>  
> 
> Jensen and Misha stayed in the house and Jim stayed with them going over everything about the ranch and the business it used to be. By the end of a week Jensen had decided that he wanted to move in and make it operational again. It would be perfect for him, it was somewhat isolated and the work would keep him too busy to dwell on the past and anything in the future except making it to and through the next year. Misha at first was weary of this plan especially after Jim had laid out just exactly what they would need to do and in the time frame they had to do it in. Jensen wouldn’t budge and in the end Misha had rolled up his sleeves and gotten to work just as Jensen had. They started on the house before they had to fly back to New York to close up their affairs there and pack up their apartment. Jensen paid as many of his medical bills as possible while leaving enough money to move everything and pay for part of the broken lease. He had set aside money before they came back to use on fixing the ranch up and buying back animals and crop seeds. They rest of the bills would be paid with what the working ranch would bring in. And if the ranch didn’t work out he’d have to sell it and probably the saloon. He hoped that wouldn’t happen but one never knew the future.
> 
>  
> 
> Breaking the lease and packing up took longer than he thought it would but at least he didn’t have creditors on his back any more. Also the cost of shipping everything to Texas was a little higher than he thought but it was less then renting a U-Haul and driving. Since he would have his grandfather’s truck when he got back to Texas he would sell his car to help cover the cost of shipping. Also he and Misha were selling most of the furniture as they wouldn’t need it. Selling the car proved a little time consuming too and by the time he and Misha finally made it back to Texas the clock they had for fixing up the ranch was already ticking.
> 
>  
> 
> With Jim’s help and at least one farm hand who agreed to come back for lower pay and to have the rest made up with the first profits they did the best hatchet job they could. It was long and tiring work and Jensen who was still in the final stages of his recovery was often tired and warn down and Misha had to scold him into resting and not working himself to death. It was the worst when at the last minute they had to tear down and rebuild half the barn to hold their newly purchased cows.
> 
>  
> 
> “Jen maybe you should take it easy for a little longer” Misha looks wistful as he watches his friend bent over hands on his knees for balance and breathing deeply.
> 
>  
> 
> “I have a ranch to run Misha I can’t afford to take it easy” Jensen says taking a few deep breaths and gritting his teeth before standing tall again. “I have six months to get this place up and running to at least eighty percent capacity. If I don’t that’s it, game over and I will not let that happen” Jensen gives his friend a pointed look which is returned with a reluctant smile.
> 
>  
> 
> “Then I guess we have our work cut out for us” Misha starts walking towards the almost completed barn leaving Jensen to follow behind him. Misha got his revenge later when he put a sleeping pill in Jensen’s dinner.
> 
>  
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> Even with the set back of the barn and being new to ranch life and being shorthanded the ranch made it through its first season. It didn’t make a profit but at least it broke even. With help from the profits of the saloon and one of the Marketing CDs Gage had left behind they had a much better time the next year and from there they just went on and improved.


	5. Chapter 4

 

> Jared looks up at the house taking in all the twinkling Christmas lights and sighs, his breath fogging in the cold air. He had helped Jeff put them up just after Thanksgiving but hadn’t really taken the time to appreciate them until now. He had been so busy thinking and then planning the next phase of his life. After numerous long late night talks with Jeff, his friend and mentor since college not his brother, he had decided to stay back in New York. Jeff was striking out on his own new business venture and so far had clients lined up, and seeing how much of a bigger bite then he could chew he’d taken versus what his business plan was modeled for had wanted to hire him to take up the slack. Plus they had worked well together and in the past and this was a big opportunity for him to make his big break into the upper elite of the architecture design world. So he had agreed after virtually no poking and prodding, just a big long lunch and now he and Jeff, who insisted on being called JD now that they were partners, would officially open for business after the New Year.
> 
>  
> 
> Technically Jeff already was open for business, he had an office and a secretary and everything but after the New Year and with Jared aboard he could now call his business a firm. He’d printed up new business cards, changed the sign on the door and cleaned out the second office in his rented space for Jared so he’d have something when he arrived back from holiday. He had been by the office already after being hired and gotten in a little training on how JD ran the place but when JD had learned he was coming home for Christmas and with the knowledge that he had been apartment hunting they had delayed his official start date till after the New Year. Genevieve ‘call me Gen since we’re friends you idiot’ had agreed to house his stuff while he was gone and talk to his friend Chad who was looking at places for him to live. He had stupidly agreed that she could have input on his final living situation.
> 
>  
> 
> With at least a job squared away he had made the decision to buy a small house instead of look for another apartment. He figured that he would be working with Jeff for quite some time and if business went like planned he’d have some serious money. He would settle now and have roots and all the trappings of a man establishing himself in the world. Which was how he had come to his next decision of settled life. After Thanksgiving he had sworn off dating for a while not feeling in the mood to play the field or have his heart broken again by a failed long term relationship. But he still wanted someone and a family to come home to at the end of the day. He had been looking at the idea of possibly adopting but was slightly disheartened by all the horror stories and endless hoops to jump through to get a child. And not to be a snob or anything, heavens knows there was no shortage of children out there that needed good families and good homes but he wanted one of his own. And in order to have one of his own he would need a partner, which he didn’t want any time soon or a surrogate since he himself wasn’t a carrier. Of course with a surrogate there were hoops to go through and lots of paper work and it could be a nightmare but he had found a loop hole, at least for his situation. It wasn’t all that popular or common but some carriers donated their eggs for surrogacies for couples having trouble conceiving. If he could get one of those eggs and just hire a surrogate to gestate the baby the child would be all his. Since he would be buying a house and that would take up a lot of money and whatever else he had would go to procuring the donor egg and treatments to make it viable he had decided to ask his family for help since he couldn’t wouldn’t be able to pay the surrogate much after doctors’ bills. Now he just had to break the news to his family. And he does…right in the middle of dinner.
> 
>  
> 
> “I want a child” Jared announced and all other conversation at the table stopped.
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>  
> 
> “Jared, sweetheart” his mother started but seemed at a loss for a moment after that.
> 
>  
> 
> “That is a big decision son” his father stepped in and his mother nodded.
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>  
> 
> “I know but I am tired of waiting for the right partner and the right time. I have looked into it and I have almost everything.” Jared is serious he is letting his family know his plans not asking if he should or for advice. In fact when it all settles in he plans to ask Meg to be his surrogate. He has been to the doctors for a check up, the fertility clinic to talk options, the bank to make sure he has enough money and set some aside for emergencies and even stopped at a baby store on a whim to look around. He has always wanted kids and being gay there are options for him to reach this dream as things have progressed over the last few decades. It won’t be the easiest thing without a partner but it is possible and Jared is done waiting for the right one to come along.
> 
>  
> 
> His family just sat looking at him and he began to feel very uncomfortable and was working up a fine sweat when his father finally broke the silence. “This is what you really want? With everything changing so recently?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Yes” Jared put as much conviction as he could behind the word to not show the panic that was setting in that his family would be against him. He loved them ad would need then more than ever but he needed this future child too he felt. As soon as he had made his decision he knew it was the right one.
> 
>  
> 
> “Another grandchild would be nice” Sherri hedged “You’ll have to tell us exactly what you are thinking, but” she held up her hand that wasn’t holding her fork “after dinner.”
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>  
> 
> Jared nodded and smiled slightly and his parents began eating followed by the rest of his family.
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> The fact that Jared was going to try and have a child was hardly brought up over the next few days and when it was it was in quiet tones and the topic was changed fairly quickly. He was sure that his family supported him they just needed some time to wrap their minds around the fact that he would be using a surrogate and not a real partner. He did not mention that if he had the child he most likely would be raising it alone for a few years if not until it was a preteen or teenager. He would spend those first few years just focusing on the child and work not relationships. If one just happened to come along and develop fine, but we wouldn’t be actively looking.
> 
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> After Christmas he spent some time looking around at the different facilities online that he might be interested in checking out. His New Year’s resolution would be to visit one as soon as he got back. Once he knew that he would be accepted and picked out a donor he would ask Meg if she would do the honors and be his surrogate.
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> New Year’s was great and Chad who had been visiting his parents showed up to see him and share in some New Year’s reveling. Chad had been good enough not to come empty handed and had brought some wine for the adults and candy for the kids. He waited until Chad was almost out the door before springing the news that he had decided to have a child of his own. Chad had just stared at him for a minute before smiling, giving him a punch on the arm and declaring it was going to be fun being ‘uncle Chad’.
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> JD picked him up at the airport when he got back and presented him with his first baby item. It was a baby bag for all his supplies like diapers, change of clothes, toys, pacifiers and what not. It was also in the shape of a giant teddy bear. He loved it and placed it in the middle of the table when he got home.
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> At work the next day Genevieve gave him a very nice bottle set and told him that when the baby was old enough to be able to sleep for more then a few hours at a time she could cover the occasional babysitting stint.
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> In the following weeks he visited four of the fertility care centers he had looked up and decided to use the second one he had looked at. The facility was nice, located between work and home, the staff seemed knowledgeable and competent and no one gave him odd looks for going at it alone. After setting up a physical to make sure everything was all good for him and that there would be nothing wrong with his end of the fertility process he was given several books that list the donor eggs he will be able to use to produce the child he wants.
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> There are no pictures of the donors and Jared understands their reasoning but it still kind of sucks not to see the other man that will be half responsible for his child’s looks. Jared isn’t really vain but he hopes the kid will be a looker like so many people have told him. It’s a known but not talked about fact that good looking people make it farther easier than people who have just the smarts. That thought makes Jared sigh before getting down to reading the descriptions of the donors physical appearance.
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> Jared has been reading for about two hours and gone through a few books setting aside a few candidates for a final look through when he comes across X5-494. Donor X5-494 is tall, nearly as tall as he is, and has light brown hair and green eyes. He is smart according to the SAT scores he provided in lieu of taking an I.Q. test. Also the only major medical history problems listed is using glasses or contacts and having slightly bowed legs (not that Jared counted that as medical). X5-494’s profile just seems to click as right to him and he decides this is the donor he wants to have a child with.
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> The doctor that has been assigned to his case and had done his physical smiles at his choice and double checks that everything is in order on their end. The donor he has chosen has fifteen eggs stored here and all should be viable. Because the procedure is expensive and slightly invasive the cost is a bit high, therefore they will fertilize and implant about three eggs at the same time to ensure that at least one will grow. The only downside is that they could all grow and then he would have to decide what to do if there were multiple fetuses.
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> He said that he understood and would think it over while we contacted the woman he wanted as a surrogate. He had been informed that the facility could provide him with a surrogate but he wanted to try asking his own first. An arrangement was made for the facility to hold the eggs for him for two months and if he hadn’t gotten his own or one of their surrogates the eggs would be back in circulation for other couples. He thanked the doctor and hurried home to make plans.
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> Megan and her fiancé lived in Michigan at the moment and he wanted to fly out and visit so that he could ask Meg in person to be his surrogate. She had been the fastest to warm up to his idea of having a child over the holidays and had wished him luck first. He knew that when it came time to have her own kids she would be great.
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> He made plans with JD to go see her at the same time JD used his trip to book him to see one of the historical museums that wanted to renovate and expand. The museum wanted to add a section for old boats and present one of the boats that it had salvaged for the great lakes but none of the local architects had shown them any great ideas on how to do that while preserving the boat from rotting. Since he could think outside the box and JD’s name was known to one of the museum’s curators they would meet with Jared and he would inspect the building and draw up new plans for them. JD was sure that he could win the contract with Jared’s designs. He had been humbled by JD’s faith in him on his first real project with JD’s company. He was happy but also a nervous wreck by the time he landed in Michigan a week later.


	6. Chapter 5

 

> Meg and her fiancé Liam had offered Jared their guestroom while he was in town but he had declined just in case Meg hated or was offended by his proposal and he didn’t want to be around if that happened. He did plan to have a few dinners with them and take a tour of the museum he was going to be working on with them. In fact it was while on the tour that Meg gave him the idea he needed to make his grand plans for the new exhibits and renovations.
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> Jared had had his meeting with the board of curators and major investors of the museum that morning until well after lunch and they had offered him a private tour so he could get to take a look at all the behind the scenes action and a guide would be available to him for any questions and to enhance the experience. He had gotten permission to bring his sister and her fiancé and the evening had been eventful. After the tour there had been so many ideas in his head he needed to get out he hardly paid attention to Meg and her fiancé at dinner and doodled over every napkin that wasn’t being used and stole a few from a nearby empty table. Meg didn’t hold it against him knowing how he worked and let him go with taking what remained of his hardly touched meal back to his hotel so that he could have the real instruments he used and could concentrate on his plans. He promised to make it up to them in a day or so and was off.
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> He stayed up well into the early morning hours working on his design and went to bed very happy. He didn’t sleep long and after waking, showering and grabbing some much needed food he was back at it. By late afternoon they drafts were finished and he arranged to show them to the museum board the next day at lunch. He arranged a dinner with Meg and her fiancé to make up for the previous dinner and to he was sure celebrate. He would be bringing take out to them and they would eat in so that way high on endorphins and maybe some alcohol he could ask Meg to be his surrogate. Before the meeting with the museum he had called JD and filled him in business wise and gotten early congratulations from him. They would celebrate when he returned with the contract.
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> The meeting went over better than he had hoped and the board loved his new plans. They of course had many questions and a few edits but overall they were pleased and made plans to draw up a contract to be signed within the next day or so. The plans were to have the new building be long, and high ceilinged with the center attraction being a tremendous water tank. The remains of the ship could be housed there and kept preserved as it had been for all the years it lay at the bottom of the lake. It wouldn’t decay any worse than before they brought it up and with the right co-exhibits and lighting it would be like taking a dive trip to see the sunken wonders without the hassle of actually diving. Also should they bring up another ship or change exhibits the tank could be used over and over. Other objects found could be placed there as well for preservation. The renovations to the existing building would include new walls so that there would be a small maze like section that as the patrons walked through the history of the exhibit shown could progress from the time line beginning to end and without skipping from place to place to let the full story of the pieces settle in and be less confusing to the patrons. There would still be open floor plans for random artifacts and smaller exhibits.
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> He shared these plans with his sister and her fiancé over dinner although not as in depth. Food was eaten while they talked and wine was had except for Meg who only took a sip as a toast. He didn’t really question her while they ate but he would ask her how she was doing when he talked to her about being his surrogate. Towards the end of the evening and before he prepared to leave he asked Meg to speak to her alone about his plans for a family. They went to the guest room while her fiancé cleaned up the dinner mess and he started talking as soon as they sat down.
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> “I found the perfect donor, a male of course so it’s just the eggs but” Jared actually blushes a bit telling his sister that he has picked a male donor. “That leads me to my problem which I was hoping you could help me with. I know it’s a big deal and a lot to ask for” he takes her hands in one of his own “Would you do me the honor of being my surrogate? I can get you the best care and I’ll pay for everything and you can ask for anything else you want too, uh, within reason for this really personal big favor.” Jared rushes through it so fast it almost all runs together but he had to get it out that way or he would never get it out.
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> Megan’s smile at Jared’s abundant happiness and good news on finding a donor slowly falls until she is almost frowning but her bottom lips sticks out a little as if she is about to pout or cry and her eyes are a little shiny with the beginnings of tear buildup.
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> Jared notices and his whole happy demeanor shifts into concern and sadness that he has asked too much “what is it?”
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> “Jared as flattered as I am, and I really am, I can’t be your surrogate” Megan holds his hand in both of hers now as she looks at him. Jared can tell she is being sincere about all of it but it still makes him a bit sad. “Any other time and I would” she blushes a little before looking down “but I’m already pregnant.”
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> Jared is so stunned for a second that he does nothing before breaking out in a wide grin showing dimples and pulling Megan in for a hug. “Oh that’s wonderful Meg, congratulations. How long have you known?”
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> “Well as best as I can tell I conceived around Christmas or New Year’s. Don’t tell mom or dad yet it’s still so new we just want to keep the news to ourselves for just a little longer and it’s still early days yet.” Meg couldn’t keep the blush away or the smile from her face.
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> “Of course, but” he hesitated “does Liam know?”
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> “Yeah I told him over Valentine’s Day but warned him to do the same. It was so new then and anything could happen I didn’t want to get his hopes up I couldn’t not tell him either.”
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> “I understand” he assured her “looks like mom will be getting a new grandchild after all, just not from me.”
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> Meg laid her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze “You’ll give her one too...just not from me. There are still other options out there.”
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> “I know it’s just going to take some time to work out new arrangements that’s all. And on that happy note I need to head out before I fall asleep here. I fly back to New York tomorrow night and I need some sleep” he got up and stretched and few of his joints popping.
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> “Alight but we aren’t finished talking about these things okay” Meg stood up too. “I think if all goes well I’ll tell mom about the baby in a month or so. Don’t get your hopes up I’m sure everything will work out for you, just you wait and see.”
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> They make their way to the kitchen were he said goodbye to Liam and congratulated the pair on their baby before going back to his hotel to sleep.
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> When he returned to work JD wanted to look at the drafts Jared had made right away and he, JD and Genevieve ordered lunch in so they wouldn’t get distracted from going over all the details and deciding on what companies to recommend for the construction. By the time the work day was over the museum had faxed over a copy of a contract for their work the original being sent via mail currier. All they had to do was sign them and send back a copy. JD faxed back a reply that they were delighted by the contracts and would send recommendations for the construction with the signed paperwork as soon as the ink was dry.
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> With that JD took him and Genevieve out for a celebratory dinner that lasted a few hours but was wonderful. After it was over Genevieve shared a taxi with him and he convinced her to stay in his room and he’d take the couch since her place was farther away and it was late. She always had a change of clothes at the office and he would give her first dibs on the shower. She agreed but insisted that they share the bed.
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> Knowing that they would most likely be hung over in the morning already they shared a little more wine and talked about Jared’s trip in general. With his lowered inhibitions he told Genevieve about his plans to have a child and why and how his sister had graciously had to decline his offer because of her own baby. Telling it now while drunk it sounded so different and he got a little depressed and teary towards the end. At the beginning of the story Genevieve had been sitting beside but apart from him at the end she was pressed against him leaning him into her side for a half hug.
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> “You’ll be a wonderful father Jared and you will spoil that child rotten” she tightened her arm before angling so he could see her face. She had a big smile “Of course you are going to spoil me rotten too you know.”
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> “Really, why is that?” He was tired and she was beginning to not make sense.
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> “Because if I’m going to be carrying around your gigantic offspring you had better spoil me.”
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> He blinked a few times as his brain tried to process the information but couldn’t “I don’t want to sleep with you Gen. No offense you are pretty and all but you’re not my type.”
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> She laughed “I was once, but I don’t want to sleep with you either. I’ll be your surrogate and after you just remember that I’ll be auntie Gen the best of all the aunties.”
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> He really did start to cry then “really?” He sounded so hopeful and wondered briefly if this was a dream.
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> “Yes really Jared. I’m not exactly in the frame of mind that I would want a child of my own but I would love to have kids around, if only from time to time. And you have wanted to be a father since we were young. I can do this for you, after all you did some great things for me in the past. You’ll just have to wait on me hand and foot while I’m as big as a house at the end.”
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> “Thank you” was all he could say for a while as he continued to cry.
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> “Great now let’s go to bed, but you don’t come in till you’ve cleaned up a little, all the snot and tears look isn’t the best for you.” She got up and ruffled his hair before going into the bedroom.
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> He followed her a minute or two later after he had cleaned himself up. He was so wrong out that he slept like a logs and only woke up to Gen shoving him off the bed the next morning.
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> “Make coffee” she muttered before ducking into the bathroom to shower. After a moment he did as she asked thinking back over the night and everything they had said. He wondered if she had really meant what she had said or if it was just drunken ramblings to make him feel better.
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> When he had showered and they were in a taxi on their way to the restaurant to get their cars and head to work he asked her if she was still serious about her offer. She only smiled at him and nodded saying they’d talk about it later. Work was long but JD had a hangover as well so no one really suffered too much from unsympatheticness. Genevieve agreed to come to his house for dinner sans alcohol to discuss further plans for children the following night when their hangovers would be gone and they could think straight.
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> He was so nervous while he waited and the time until their dinner seemed to tick by so slowly. But he needn’t have worried as Genevieve came prepared with information and pamphlets on surrogacy, a few of which he had already. They worked out a plan to have Genevieve checked out by his doctor at the fertility planning clinic and if they could agree to terms make up a contract.
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> The appointment for Genevieve’s physical went over smoothly and they were approved to move forward. They had a lawyer draw up a contract for the procedure and any children that resulted from it. JD and Gen’s families were informed as well as his own. His family was happy for him and told him they would be there for whatever he needed. It was then that Meg announced that she was pregnant. There would be a big celebration the next time the family all got together. A date was set for the procedure and his family was going to come up to lend their support.
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> The time until the appointment to fertilize and transplant the eggs went by too fast Jared felt. His time came to go to the clinic a week and a half before Gen’s so that he could do his thing and fertilize the eggs. If he had told anyone that he had fantasized about having sex with his egg donor based off his physical descriptions to get in the mood and thus the job of fertilizing the eggs done they probably would have called him crazy and locked him up. But that was what he’d done and damn if it wasn’t one of the best jerk off sessions he’d had in a while. He had in the end provided more than enough sperm to get the job done and had probably spent  more time in his assigned little room then men who had a hard time even getting an erection.
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> On the big day, Gen’s visit to the clinic, of the implantation went well and Jared frets and is restless for days and days after. So much so that by Gen’s checkup two weeks later he is exhausted and is compared to a mindless zombie. But he manages to rally what energy he has left to take his family for a big celebratory dinner when the results of the checkup come pack positive. Genevieve is pregnant with Jared’s baby. Jared falls asleep the minute he’s in the car on the way home, Gen driving arguing that she would walk all the way if Jared didn’t give her the keys. The next morning he is teased mercilessly about having to be carried to bed between Josh and his father since he wouldn’t wake up.
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> Genevieve is well supported at work by Jared and JD and at home by constant calls from family and even some from Chad as the following months roll by. Subsequent checkups reveal that she is only expecting one child. They decided to keep the gender a secret wanting to be surprised. She does get very large as she predicted but then again the genetic makeup of both fathers show that tall height is a dominant gene and this baby could eventually grow to be a tall adult someday. She is too pregnant to go and see Meg when her and Liam’s baby is born. It’s a girl they name Brooke and send a flood of pictures to her phone of the baby. Jared has of course stayed with her as her due date is coming up quickly and she had worked until the doctor said that she might need some bed rest. From then on out she worked limited hours on the least stressful stuff to avoid that. In the end she didn’t have to go on bed rest but the baby came almost two weeks early. Thankfully Jared’s family had been visiting with Meg and driven as fast as they could to be there for the birth. While Genevieve had gone into labor early it was long and the family made it there just in time for Genevieve to be wheeled into the delivery room with Jared on her heels. Who was being cheered on annoyingly by Chad who arrived just after JD and before his family. Not over and hour after that Jared was a father.
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> Jared couldn’t believe his eyes, she was so perfect. His daughter was absolutely perfect. And he said so to anyone who would listen or was standing about. The nurses gave him smiles as he looked down at her not wanting to give her up to the nurse staff just yet. But he had to as she had to be cleaned and printed and weighted and measured and looked over. Gen had seen her but was too weak and tired to hold her at the moment and was fine with waiting until she had been cleaned to hold her. Jared had been reluctant to hand her back to the nurses and stood close by while they worked on her, checking on Gen every few moments as well until Gen giving a smile and a sigh waved him off. Jared was finally ushered out to the waiting room where his family waited when the staff had to move Gen and the baby out of delivery and to a regular recovery room.
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> Jared couldn’t stop smiling as his family gathered around to hear the news. “It’s a girl, a perfect girl” he almost shouted sounding like when he was a kid and Christmas morning had finally arrived and he got to open presents. He got many congratulations and pats on the back along with a hug or two and a handshake from his father. It wasn’t long before they were being told what room Gen had been moved to and that they could go see her and the baby which he had decided to name Emily. Jared of course went in but his family took turns coming in so as to not overwhelm Gen and baby Emily. Jared’s mother took pictures and left the camera so others could have their pictures taken as well. Then it was time for little Emily to go to the nursery for the night and Gen to get her rest. In the morning they would both be looked over and if deemed fit they could go home. Gen would stay with Jared for the next few months so that Emily could be breastfed and Jared could adjust to having Emily with some help. After that he would be on his own with Emily.
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> Jared took to being a father well and with support from everyone he and baby Emily flourished. He got a video camera and recorded all of her firsts and big moments so he could send them to his family. First tooth and first steps, first words and first holidays. First haircut, first tricycle, first kiddie pool and other things. His parents began to joke about how he should have gone into film instead of architecture with all the footage he was taking. But he liked architecture better and he was good at it, also it paid regularly and well. In fact after his first big project on the museum right before Emily was conceived he’d done so well he had been in a bit of demand. He only took jobs that allowed him to go home to Emily or bring Emily with him at first. Many of his customers delighted in seeing his little girl and he was happy to go home and be with her at the end of the work day. When she was older he would take jobs over the weekend and Gen or JD would watch Emily. Chad had offered to do it too but Jared had declined. Chad was a good ‘uncle’ but not to leave Emily with for more than a day. With all the money he made he had managed to buy a nice little house after Emily’s first birthday. Someday when she was old enough he’d get a dog for her. Time was flying by and Jared although he liked that she was becoming a little person in her own right missed the times when she was his little baby. He was contemplating asking Gen to be his surrogate for a second baby when things started to go wrong.
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> Emily was getting sick a lot recently and had a hard time getting better between bouts of illness. Then there were the bruises. Emily was a pretty tough little girl but as of late if she fell or bumped into something hard enough she would get a bruise and they would last a while. The incident that finally prompted Jared to see a specialist was when Emily got a bruise from playing on the park playground and it hadn’t faded in the least after a week.
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> After many tests the results came back with a crushing blow. Emily had cancer. A form of Leukemia that would need radiation treatment and most likely and bone marrow transplant. The radiation would come first and then surgery to remove some cancer cells, followed by more radiation and then the transplant. Because she was so young and the cancer was a progressive type the radiation had to be strong and would make Emily very sick. As much as they wanted to treat her quickly they were forced to take things slowly. That way everything didn’t overwhelm her small system and she had a chance to recover a little between treatments. This made sure that she could be her strongest for the surgeries even with the radiation still in her body.
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> Jared called everyone he knew for support and his family came to see them right away. Everyone would be tested to see who would be the best match for Emily’s bone marrow. Jared being her father was the best choice but sometimes oddly another family member could be better. It was the hope that also a female relative would be best for her if Jared wasn’t. Even though Genevieve was not related by blood she got tested too as she had carried Emily to term. In the end their hopes were shattered when none of them proved to be a good enough match for Emily. Jared was the closest but they wanted someone better. The doctors suggested Emily’s other parents might be a better match.
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> Jared had a breakdown that night after putting Emily to sleep. He had no idea who Emily’s other father was. His baby, his little girl was sick and he couldn’t do anything about it. The doctors were trying and there was some medication to make her feel better but nothing that they could do to cure her completely. Why? Because he wasn’t a good enough genetic match for her. If she was to get 100% better she need an almost perfect match and it had to come from her parents. More specifically her other parent and not from Jared. Why hadn’t he thought about the things that could happen to his little girl years ago? Why hadn’t he figured in serious illness when planning out a life with her? He had thought of everything else hadn’t he? Well apparently not if things like this could happen. How was he supposed to deal with this, fix this? Why was this happening in the first place? Oh yeah because he had wanted a child so bad he had gone and gotten a donor egg so the child would be his instead of adopted. Okay so this could happen with adopted kids too but he could have had an open adoption and knew everything about the family so there would be no surprises. Here he knew nothing about his baby’s other parent then at the time of donation he was okay and what he looked like. This was a nightmare and he wanted to wake up so badly and have everything be fine and back to normal.
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> In trying to cheer him up a bit Chad stopped by a few evenings later and arranging to Emily to be watched by her grandparents took Jared out to get him drunk. In his uninhibited state he sobbed about how everything looked so bad and how he couldn’t do anything and why had he picked some anonymous donor egg. Chad trying to make light of things joked about how he could go and dig up the donor for Jared and it seemed to instantly sober the man up. Jared was still drunk but his mind was racing on possibilities now. The next morning while Chad was still badly hung over Jared badgered him into agreeing to ferret out the donor so Jared could go ask him for help. He didn’t really care at the moment if it was unethical or not or even against the law he just wanted to know there was another avenue to take to make his baby well again. He promised Chad a million favors and to even bend the law in his favor if he need to. Just as long as Chad found Emily’s other father and quickly.
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> Jared started his search for the best children’s cancer doctor he could find in New York and hired them to treat Emily. For the first little while she would be allowed to go between home and the hospital but as time went on she would need to stay at the hospital for long periods of time as treatments and travel would make her weak. Jared’s parents set up a schedule to rotate visiting him with Ann or Jeff stepping in now and then. Gen and JD would cover for Jared at work and would stop by to see Emily too. Chad was hard at work looking for donor x5-494. It took a while but Chad thought he found the man on a ranch in Texas. Details were still a little sketchy on the man’s past but he was confident the man was Jared’s donor.
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> After talking with his family and making plans for Emily to stay at the hospital he told her that he had to take a trip to see someone who might be able to help her. He didn’t mention that it might be her other father. Emily knew that she was Jared’s and that her other parent was gone, Gen was just a friend but she didn’t understand the process of how Jared came to be her only parent. She reassured him in the way children do that she would be okay and see him when he came again. She would be happy to spend time with grandmama Sherri. Jared thanked his mother for staying Emily and gave her the keys to his house and left for the airport immediately. He didn’t plan on being gone long or return alone, but things never really go as planned. And Texas and donor x5-494 were nothing like what he had planned.
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	7. Chapter 6

 

> If Jared swore, which he did not thank you very much, he would right now. Instead he settled for lightly banging his head on the steering wheel of his rented SUV. He had spent almost two hours driving up and down this ten mile stretch of road at an ever slowing pace with each pass. He would have liked to give up and turn tail for home but he couldn’t. He had to find Emily’s other father and nothing would get in his way now that he was so close. Finally he had given up in his search and stopped at the little gas station minimart combo at the edge of the last town to ask for directions. He was a genius architect with his own company that made him rich before twenty six but he was appalled that he couldn’t get the simple little GPS installed in the SUV to work. Or at least he thought it wasn’t working until he had been corrected by the young woman at the gas station. He was currently parked facing a dirt road, which was a generous description, as it was more of a dirt track then a road. The GPS had pleasantly chirped at him to turn right or left onto it every time he passed before directing him to pull a U-turn when he did not turn as it directed. As time had passed he had had increasing fantasies about the best was to dismantle the annoying little thing. Now he was left to swallow those dreams and admit defeat at having to continue to listen to the irritating chirping voice that it was programed with. Maybe he could build a better one with a nice voice that costumers wouldn’t feeling like destroying when given wrong directions. But that was for another time, now he sat up took a deep breath and put the SUV into all-wheel drive and stepped on the gas pedal.
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> The dirt track because he refused to call it a road was surprisingly smooth and pot hole free. He had encountered a gate, previously unseen, that let cars pass through a heavy duty old fashion barb wire fence at a giant dip in the track that could be considered a super-sized ditch. Getting out to open it then close it after driving through had him sweating in the fall heat that hung in the air making everything feel like it was encased in a warm damp blanket. It felt heavy in his lungs too and he was more than happy to be back in the air conditioned SUV continuing on. The track was on a slowly elevating hill and he couldn’t stop his mind from wondering to all the red neck hick stereotypes as the soundtrack from Deliverance played in his head, despite the lack of a known river nearby. For the type of ranch he was looking for he would have never expected to find it out here in the middle of nowhere. His anxiety level rose as did the incline of the hill and he hoped he had made the right choice in coming alone. After all he had no real idea of exactly what he was getting into in reality to his hopes and imagined dreams.
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> From all his information gathering Jensen or Ackles worked on a ranch, a real ranch. One that despite its small size and relative newness of operations sold some of the best most sought after beef in the state. Also the horses they raised were also coming up as increasingly good stock. Jared knew nothing about ranches or animals besides that they took main stage and feature in western and cowboy stories and provide food. He had no idea what Jensen did there at the ranch he was headed to but whatever it was wouldn’t be easy work. That bit of information he hoped would work in his favor. He could offer Jensen some time off to which he would pay him for to make up for missing work and a chance to see a big city, assuming he had lived out here most if not all his life. Also the hard work meant that he had to be in some kind of good health and shape which was what he was looking for to help out Emily.
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> As he approached the top of the hill he slowed and looked over to a mailbox which from the main road had looked like a stick when he had squinted at it. It was small and plain, a metal box painted black with faded white numbers on the side half obscured by a red flag. How the mailman saw if the flag was raised he had no idea but the man must have eagle eyes to do so.
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> Jared looked at the address one more time and back up the dirt road. He hoped that Chad’s outrageous teasing wasn’t true and he wouldn’t find a bunch of hillbillies ready to shoot him for trespassing when he got to the end of the road. Putting the car into four-wheel drive he turned onto the road and went slowly winding his way up the small hill. When he got to the top though he had to stop and gape at the scene before him. It was like the picture of a postcard or in those interest magazines, it could even be the setting in a western movie. He was looking at an honest to god small working ranch. There was a monster of a main house with wraparound porch, next to it a small shed and a garage. There was a small coral a distance from the house. A ways behind the house was a bunk house with porch and a large field behind it. There was a big barn and more pens to keep animals and shade stalls. Moving back from that were large fields with cows and horses. He wondered what his donor did here and if maybe things worked out he could bring Emily here to see the ranch someday. Emily liked ponies and had been thrilled to ride one, with his assistance of course, at the fair right before she got sick.
> 
>  
> 
> Thinking of Emily made his focus of his quest come back to him and he started down the hill. He drove slowly as he approached the house in case any smaller animals, of what kind he hadn’t a clue, decided to dart out in front of his SUV. Then the problem was where to park exactly? The decision was made for him by the fact that the garage door was down and there was a man waiting on the porch steps for him by the time he got close to the house. He had assumed that whoever the man was he had seen the SUV coming. He parked in front of the steps and got out as soon as he’d turned off the engine, leaving the keys in the ignition just in case the man told him to leave.
> 
>  
> 
> “Help you?” the man who had been waiting for him asked, no Texas accent in his voice. He was shorter then Jared but not by more than a head, his skin was slightly tanned, his body lean with dark brown messy hair and very blue eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> The man was handsome but didn’t fit the description given to him by the fertility clinic so he knew that this wasn’t Jensen Ackles. “My name is Jared Padalecki and I’m looking for a Jensen or an Ackles. “
> 
>  
> 
> The man gave him a very confused then suspicious look eyeing him up and down as if deciding whether it was worth it to chase him off or tell him off. “I was given the names and this ranch as a reference” Jared lied thinking fast “I’m an architect doing some research and writing an article.”
> 
>  
> 
> At this the man gave a tilt of his head that was very much in line with a birds and stared. Jared was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the silence and the way the man was analyzing him when the man finally straightened up and a smile came over his face, eyes lighting up with mischief.
> 
>  
> 
> “Well then come on in and take a load off while I get the man himself” his greeter turned opening the screen door and walking through the open front door.
> 
>  
> 
> Jared just stood there a moment puzzled before shrugging to himself and climbing the steps to follow the man inside. What was the worst that could happen after this odd encounter? Apparently a lot.
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> 
> He was shown into a high ceilinged living room with lots of wood furniture and a huge fireplace and told to make himself comfortable. The man who finally introduced himself was Misha, and having offered him a beer, which he declined in case he would be driving off soon went to the kitchen to get the man he had come to find. He walked around the room while he waited and found the furniture while beautiful was old. Kept in good repair it looked comfortable and he guessed that this was a generational ranch or had been until recently. The fireplace was used judging by the soot stains and the basket of fresh wood off to the side. The mantle held dried flowers, rocks, bits of bone and antler and two pictures. One was of an old man sitting in a rocking chair on the porch, he was smiling for the camera. The other was of a family group. The old man was there, years younger next to a pretty woman about his age and in front of them was a boy about sixteen he’d guess with a dog at the boy’s feet. All of them were smiling wide like they didn’t have a care in the world. The boy in the photo wasn’t his donor he was sure and the picture looked old like it belonged with the furniture.
> 
>  
> 
> He was startled from his musings of the family photo by a husky voice “You are looking for me Mr. Padalecki? What is it I can do for you?”
> 
>  
> 
> Jared turned to see the speaker who was the prettiest man he’d ever seen and who had to be Emily’s donor father. He looked better than his description but all the features and colors matched. He had to swallow before speaking and at the same time bit his tongue to not blurt out that his daughter, one he’d never met needed him. Or that Jared would very much like to take him home and keep him. “Are you Mr. Jensen or Mr. Ackles?” He asked instead curious to know the name of the man who would save his daughter.
> 
>  
> 
> A small amused smile flited across the face of his donor before he answered “actually it’s both, my name is Jensen Ackles. Now what can me and my ranch do for you?”
> 
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> Jared was stunned so much it took him a minute to understand that Jensen was waiting for an answer. “I…I’m and architect” he strutted.
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>  
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> Jensen just kept looking at him and at last raised an eyebrow and he understood that didn’t answer his question.
> 
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> “I’m studying ranch style homes and the like to get a better feel so I can design some more modern ones in the suburbs. Not that yours isn’t nice or anything, it’s beautiful. It just wouldn’t fit in a city.” Jared rambled and Jensen’s lips twitched and Jared stopped to watch them.
> 
>  
> 
> “And?” Jensen’s lip twitch became a smile as he again raised that eyebrow.
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>  
> 
> Jared flushed slightly thinking he was caught staring and went on to try and cover it looking just over Jensen’s shoulder so he wouldn’t get distracted again. “And I’d like to study your ranch if possible maybe at least see some blueprints if you have them. Or get the name of the architect that built the place?”
> 
>  
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> “You’d need more than a few hours to do that Mr. Padalecki and the builder was my great grandfather so I imagine the blueprints if there are any are somewhere in some box in the attic.” Jensen was looking him over now and he had to control himself to not stand up straight and puff up for inspection.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m staying here in town for a few days” he replied using Jensen’s perusal of him as an invite to look Jensen over. And boy did the man look good, better than the description he had read all those years ago. Emily definably got so of her good looks from Jensen.
> 
>  
> 
> “Well then Mr. Padalecki I might have a proposition for you. I’m shorthanded for the next month as one of my men broke his foot a few days ago. You can come and stay here, room and board will be covered by you helping out with his job. Some help I better than none and you look in decent shape. If you don’t fall right asleep after the work day I’ll show you all around the house and see if I can’t find those blue prints for you. I’ll answer your questions about the house too if I can since some repair work has been done over the years.”
> 
>  
> 
> Jared couldn’t believe it, an offer to stay with Emily’s father, to get to know him a bit and have a better chance to ask him for help if they became friends. Getting to know the design of the house to boot would be an added bonus. He’d have to expand his trip away from Emily but if he video called she would understand and so would his family if it meant bringing Jensen home with him. “Yes I think I can swing that but under one condition.”
> 
>  
> 
> “And what would that be?” Jensen looked him in the eyes his smile fading.
> 
>  
> 
> “You’ll have to call me Jared.”
> 
>  
> 
> The smile returned to Jensen’s face and even his eyes sparkled. “It’s a deal, I just hope you survive it, Jared.”
> 
>  
> 
> With that Jensen called Misha in and told him to get one of the guest rooms ready for Jared. Misha nodded but gave Jared a withering glance before he left and Jared worried that he might be intruding on something between them. He sure hoped not. Jensen then took him outside and introduced him to his friend, the ranch vet and secondary overseer Jim Beaver. The man looked Jared over and shrugged when Jensen told him that Jared would be helping out. He felt that Jim might have been laughing at him on the inside. Once that was done he want back into town to get his stuff and check out of his hotel after calling Emily and his parents to tell them what was going on.
> 
>  
> 
> Over the following week he just about died of exhaustion and soreness. Work a farm even the light easy stuff he was told to do was hard. Even in the shape he was in he almost through in the towel. But during that week he’d also come into a deep friendship with Jensen. They talked for hours when work was over and not just about the house and the outbuildings. He felt that he had known Jensen for a long time by the end of the week rolled around. He wanted to deepen that trust and friendship with Jensen before he asked him for help for Emily. So he didn’t tell him about her and instead asked if he could come back soon for more ‘research’. Jensen had said yes and he was delighted. Misha he saw was not happy about this at all. Misha had watched him like a hawk the whole week whenever he was around Jensen. At first he had thought that Misha might be trying to get into a relationship or had had a relationship with Jensen. But Jensen had stilled his fears about that and laughed at the idea of him and Misha as lovers. They were friends and business partners that was all. Jared was very happy about that and pushed any guilt ha had about getting close to Jensen as helping Emily. If something happened between them it would or it wouldn’t. He would see when he told Jensen about Emily and asked him to come back to New York on his next trip.
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> Emily was happy to see him when he got home and presented her with a cowboy hat and a horse figurine that could be used with her dolls and toy trucks. He told her he was very close to finding someone who might be able to help her but he wasn’t sure yet. She reassured him that everything would turn out well. He wished he could be as optimistic as her. He wouldn’t go back to see Jensen until two or three weeks had passed and Emily’s next round of radiation had passed and she was feeling better.


	8. Chapter 7

 

> Misha had been suspicious of Jared Padalecki from the first day he had arrived. Jared had told him he was an architect and that had been an easy thing to check out. He had been a little surprised to see that Jared was part of a firm that made a decent amount of money and had some beautiful and famous buildings under its and thus his belt. He had been shocked when Jensen had invited Jared to stay at the ranch and moreover in the house. Worse Jared was to help work on the ranch. Jared was a city boy, al be it a pretty fit city boy but a body sculpted in a gym was nothing from that gained by working on a ranch. He didn’t like the way Jensen had been eyeing Jared either. There had never been another man since Scott who had been Jensen’s only. It worried him since Jensen was his dearest friend. He didn’t want anyone to take advantage of him and he had no doubt that Jared could do that very easily. He didn’t want to have to pick all the broken pieces up when he left. He would watch Jared like a hawk when he was here and enjoy it deeply when he failed and gave up working the ranch.
> 
>  
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> However despite what Misha thought of him Jared stayed his first day and his second even though Misha made sure he got just under double the work the second day. It bothered him also that Jensen was so attentive to him after the work was done. Showing Jared around the ranch was nothing but the small talk that became more prevalent during the evenings, that was another matter. Jensen of course never excluded him but he still more often than not left the two of them to their conversations. Not that he gave up watching Jared or listening shamelessly to their evening chats.
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> Jensen caught him on the fourth day trying to give Jared the worst of the jobs and scolded him for it and it burned a bit. That night he had overheard Jared trying discreetly and failing to ask if Misha had been or wanted to be his lover! He just about blew a gasket. He loved Jensen but not in that way, they were more brothers than anything else. Business partners as well since the third year and Misha has taken a few acers to have an orchard and a few bee hives. Jensen told Jared what Misha was thinking as if he was reading his friend’s mind. Misha now knew that Jared was beyond interested in his friend. It was time to take a different tack in regards to Jared.
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> While Jared was out the next morning Misha went through his things and his laptop and phone. The man needed to protect his computer better since Misha was able to get right on it. There wasn’t anything suspect on the lap top from just a quick perusal the phone was different. The boy liked to call his mama, granted that wasn’t bad every now and then but he called her once a day. Maybe she was sick or something? He hadn’t said anything to indicate it in any of the conversations he’d had with anyone on the ranch. The other three top calls were to, in call order Gen, JD and Chad. Misha took down the numbers and went to consult notes he’d been making since the second day Jared had arrived.
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> Gen was first and that was easy enough as she was mentioned a few times. Gen was an old friend and his secretary at the firm. She might have been a rival except every other time she was noted it was in reference with JD. JD, second on the list was actually a Jeff and was Jared’s old teacher and now business partner. Misha went online to look them up anyway. Gen’s full name was Genevieve Cortese and she was indeed the secretary at Jared’s firm. She had lived in LA until her move to New York five years ago. It was unlikely she and Jared had anything going, or it was his best guess and he hoped he was right. Next Jeffrey ‘JD’ Morgan was a handsome man who looked to be middle aged and if he was older he had aged gracefully. Misha wondered if he had a voice to match his looks, he was a sucker for a good rich voice. But moving on there were no accusations to be found that he had dated any of his students and given that he and Jared were business partners more than likely they weren’t hooking up either. But he sure would hook up with JD if the man was interested.
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> 
> Last was Chad Michael Murray and he was the hardest to pin down. The man didn’t have much of an internet presence and when he found out Chad was a PI he guessed Chad was either good at covering his tracks or paid to have it done. In the end would took a shot in the dark that it was a bit of both. Chad was a mystery to him beyond that fact that he was a ‘friend’ of Jared’s and he was a PI. So he decided to throw caution to the wind and give Chad a call. The only decision he had to make was if he wanted to call Chad’s work line and hire him to look into Jared or to call his personal line and tip his hand that he was looking into Jared. In the end he bit the bullet and decided to call his personal line, besides the fees he wanted for his services were way too high in his opinion.
> 
>  
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> He did wait however to call until late evening when Jared and Jensen had gone to bed, meaning it was even later in New York. He hoped that it would throw Chad off his game a bit, and it worked for all of thirty seconds. All he had to do was mention Jared and Jensen in the same sentence, than Chad seemed to be as awake as if he’d had a gallon of coffee. That in itself was telling.
> 
>  
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> “Ello?”
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>  
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> “Chad hello I’m a friend of Jared’s…”
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>  
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> “You are? In where the fuck is that Texas?”
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> “And I’m just checking up on him. I heard that he was with an acquaintance of his Jensen Ackles.”
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> The line was silent for a minute and Misha had considered Chad had hung up on him until the man let out a sigh. “Do you know what time it is dude?”
> 
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> “Perfectly” Misha’s smile must have somehow transmitted in his voice because Chad snorted.
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> “Yeah well what is it you want exactly before I hang up on you and unplug the phone so I can get my beauty sleep.”
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> “Oh I’m just doing a friend a favor and finding out if you are Jared’s lover”
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> Chad choked on the other end of the line and coughed a bit before he whizzed an answer. “Dude I don’t swing that way and you are one twisted individual to ask that. But since I’m now awake, thank you for that, I’ll tell you one thing. Jared hasn’t got a lover or a husband or a wife or a mistress. Now go fuck yourself and good night.”
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> The line went dead and Misha tossed his phone aside and pondered what could happen in the future. Jensen liked Jared it was plain to see and just as equally Jared seemed to like Jensen. But Jared would be leaving in a short time and that would be that. So thinking everything was fine he went to sleep.
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> But when it did come time for Jared to leave a few days later he asked to come back and Jensen agreed. Misha worried.
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> Jared would return several times over the next few months and as Misha had predicted he and Jensen fell into a relationship. Just when Misha thought everything would turn out alright it all went to hell in a hand basket.
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>  


	9. Chapter 8

 

> Donor x5-494 was a man named Jensen Ackles not something Jensen or something Ackles and he owned the ranch that he lived on. Chad’s information had been slightly wrong. Jared was quick to think on his feet and told Jensen that he was studying working ranches to do an article and to get a feel for the spaces ad look of different places so that he could design something that looked truly country but would be in a modern suburb. He would like to visit several times and explore some of the buildings as well as the main house. He and Jensen talked for hours about this and he felt there was a connection there. He was momentarily worried when Jensen introduced him to Misha his partner. But it came out later that Misha was his business partner and nothing more. Jensen had blushed at this and Misha winked at him before walking away. It had surprised him when Jensen had made his deal with him and gave him the guest bedroom and work.
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> Changing his plan to get to know Jensen over his visits and then ask the man to get tested had been good. He hoped that they could be good friends by then and Jensen would feel for his daughter enough to ignore that Jared had broken several laws to find him. Jensen didn’t have an obligation to Emily legally but he hoped that Jensen would have the moral obligation to try and help. He knew that Jensen would be angry and possibly hurt and there was always they fact that in essence Jared was using him. But he would have to take his chances and just pray for the best. He was unsure of what would happen after because there was no way there wouldn’t be any fall out but he would cross that bridge when he came to it and after Jensen knew about Emily and had agreed to help her or not.
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> His plans to visit and work the ranch worked it out well. He visited the ranch when Emily had long stays in the hospital and then gone back to New York to be there for when she went in and when she came out and when she would be home. His family could watch Emily while he was away and he could always video chat with her from here. He worked a plan with Jeff as well for when he was gone and often took work with him when he could. He was often two weeks with Jensen in Texas and Two weeks at home with Emily. She was sad he had to go away and he was sad every time he came home without Jensen but the more time he spent on the ranch with Jensen the deeper their relationship grew and he couldn’t bring himself to shake that up just yet. Besides it was a little while yet till Emily could even have the surgery for a bone marrow transplant. He had time.
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> On one return trip to New York his family asked what he was doing so often in Texas and he could only give the explanation that he was looking for some special help for Emily and didn’t want to give the details in case it didn’t pan out. He didn’t want to get all their hopes up too high. He made plans with JD and did confide in Gen what he was doing though. Chad offered to keep digging up dirt on Jensen and his business partner Misha if Jared wanted to resort to black mail. He emphatically told Chad he would not and Chad just shrugged. With that done he talked to again Emily about the fact that he was looking for ways to make her better and that if she really needed him she could call and he would come running.
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> He always felt guilty leaving Emily and arriving at Jensen’s only to leave there felling guilty about not bringing him back. Keeping so many secrets from everyone was beginning to wear on him and at night he would talk to Emily in her sleep when he was in New York. It made him feel a little better about what he was doing but he knew that he had to stop it all soon he just didn’t know exactly when or how. The more time he spent with Jensen the more he fell in love the man he had made a connection with on his first visit. Or even to be honest with himself when he had read his donor profile. He wanted to bring up Emily so many times but he just couldn’t not yet. He knew he would have too soon as Emily’s second round of radiation would be starting soon. He would need to have Jensen tested by her last treatment to see if he was a match so that they could harvest and transplant the bone marrow soon after.
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> Emily was in the hospital recovering from the surgery to remove as many cancer cells as possible and Jared had been a bit distracted while he waited for bed time so he could call her. Jensen who didn’t know this had noticed how distracted he was and had been trying to make him feel better about whatever was worrying him. Jensen had fixed him a nice dinner and said he had wanted to go over some building drawings with Jared in his office. They sat pressed together on the big couch there and looked down at a very simple blueprint of a bunk house he’d managed to find. As Jared usually did he studied them and turned to give Jensen his opinion and ask what it is Jensen was hoping to get out of him looking the design over. Only this time before he could say anything Jensen was kissing him.
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> It took him a moment for his brain to kick in and by then Jensen was pulling back from him but he chased after Jensen and kissed him this time. The blueprints slid to the floor as they maneuvered in order to make out seriously. After several minutes of kissing Jensen leaned back and Jared followed laying down on top of him and using his arms to box him in as he deepened his kisses. He could feel that Jensen was getting hard beneath him and his cock responded by getting hard as well. Jensen shifted his legs so that Jared was cradled between them and bringing them closer together.
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> “I want…” Jared started but Jensen cut him off before he could say more.
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> “Yes” it came out as a groan and he moved his hand to Jared’s jeans unbuckling the belt, popping the button and unzipping his fly before reaching in to stroke Jared through his boxers. Jared moaned into a kiss and returned the favor only with his hand wiggled inside of Jensen’s boxers.
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> They stroked each other for a bit before Jared’s hand retreated to his pocket and pulled out a condom. “I was not anticipating this as nice as it is but Misha has been sneaking condoms into all my pockets and drawers and bags.”
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> Jensen chuckled low and it sent shivers down Jared’s spine “mine too.”
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> There were a few more kisses before bring the condom packet up so that he could open it with his teeth, his other hand had found its way to Jensen’s cock while they were kissing.
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> “Wait” Jensen placed a hand on Jared’s chest, not pushing him away but stopping any further action. “Are you” he licked his lips and looked right into Jared’s eyes as if he could see into Jared “are you clean?”
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> “Yes” Jared nodded “haven’t been with anyone in years, always was careful before that” Jared’s fingers tightened on the condom packet. Could Jensen be sick? The thought was only for a second but he dismissed it. What he knew of Jensen was that the man was careful about everything and he’d had fewer partners then Jared. If he wasn’t sick before he had donated his eggs he couldn’t be sick now, could he?
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> Jensen let the hand on Jared’s arm travel down to his wrist, squeezed lightly before fingers moved down to brush Jared’s and pull the condom packet from his fingers before letting it drop. “Good, cus I want to feel you, all of you.”
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> 
> If it were possible to get harder Jared would have and he had to grab the base of his cock to stop himself from coming right the hell now. He let out a groan and bent his head to kiss Jensen who submitted to him and opened his mouth to let in Jared’s tongue. After a minute of kissing Jared had himself reined in enough to let of his cock. He reached out and took Jensen’s in his hand and stroked a few times as he positioned himself at Jensen’s entrance. Looking into Jensen’s eyes he pushed forward just enough for the head of his cock to enter Jensen and Jensen let out a little hiss as he did so. He waited a moment for Jensen to adjust but Jensen just shook his head.
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> “No it’s good Jared keep going I’m okay.” To prove that he was right Jensen bucked a bit taking Jared in more.
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> Jared kissed him leaning down to hold him still as he gave a tiny thrust sliding in an inch before stilling again. “I like to take my time” he said once his mouth was free and pulled out that first inch before thrusting in further than before. Jensen let out a moan as he did and peppered kisses on Jared’s neck as Jared continued to rock in and out of Jensen an inch at a time before with a groan he was finally seated all the way inside his pelvis resting against Jensen’s ass.
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> Jared only paused long enough to give Jensen a deep kiss before starting up a newer faster and harder rhythm. Once established he began shifting and changing angles slightly until Jensen cried out sharply. Jared just smiled as he had found Jensen’s prostate. Trying to drag out the pleasure he only peg Jensen’s prostate every third or fourth thrust and varied his speed to draw out their coupling. Jensen tried to hurry things along a few times but Jared wouldn’t have it and just kissed him into distraction. Finally Jared couldn’t take much more and started a fast pace nailing Jensen’s prostate continually. After only a minute Jensen threw his head back arched and cried out as he came. His inner muscles contracted as he orgasmed and Jared gave a few more deep thrusts before pressing tightly to Jensen and coming himself. Once he was truly spent he maneuvered so that he was resting on the couch and Jensen was on top of him. They just lay for a while in silence until Jensen snorted.
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>  
> 
> “We need to clean up, I like you but I don’t think I want to be stuck to you.” He slowly sat up hissing a bit as Jared slid out of him. “It’s fine just a little sore, haven’t done that in a while” he tried to reassure Jared.
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> “You sure?” Jared asked sitting up a bit and looking Jensen over as if he could see any hurt he might have caused.
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> “Yeah it’s fine” Jensen got up and stretched and Jared ogled his lean body. He started walking towards the bathroom when he looked over his shoulder at Jared. “I like to conserve water so it might be a good idea to share the shower” and moved out of the room. Jared was up and after him in an instant.
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> The shower was long and they managed to make a new mess of themselves that washed away just as fast as they could make it and by the time they were done the water had turned cold.
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> 
> After that they were together every night until Jared had to head back to New York. For the next two trips they resumed their passionate affair everywhere and anywhere they thought they wouldn’t get caught. Jensen was very up for sex in interesting places and he got a thrill from it as well. They even had special welcome back sex and goodbye sex for Jared’s trips that seemed to blow him away every time. For the second goodbye surprise Jensen had taken him up for a picnic in a clearing in a forested area of the ranch where they would be undisturbed. They had fed each other the lunch and then made love on the blanket. When they got back to the ranch Jensen told him he had let everyone off for the night and they were all in town. Jensen the kinky bastard wanted sex in the barn…in the hay…bend over a saddle with Jared taking him from behind. Jared had been much obliging and had dragged it out till Jensen had begged to come since Jared had kept him from doing so by keeping his hands pinned behind him. He had replied that Jensen could come when he wanted to but never released his hand. With a bit of cursing and wiggling on Jensen’s part and laughter and angle change on his Jensen did come, all on his own. The last thing was to take a long hot soak in Jensen’s big jet bath tub before he flew home.
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> 
> Jared only had one more visit, two tops before he would need to tell Jensen about Emily. He needed to make a plan on how to do it. He fretted the whole plane ride even as exhausted as he was from his recent activities and long muscle relaxing soak with Jensen. His visit with Emily went well even though she was feeling poorly but the radiation had done its work and she was mostly cancer free at that visit. Jared focused on her and making her happy that he still didn’t have a plan by the time he had to return to Jensen. Besides Jensen had been unwell recently and he had worried about that on top of worrying about Emily.
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> As it turned out he didn’t need a plan and even if he had one he would never have gotten to use it. Because Jensen had some news for him first.


	10. Chapter 9

 

> Jared had been gone for a week and Jensen was still feeling bad. When Jared had called the night before Misha had answered before he could and between the two of them had decided he was going to the doctors by the end of the week weather he liked it or not. He had been grumpy but decided to go anyway, and sooner rather than later so he could get it out of the way and show them that he was fine. That he just had a bad bug and it would pass. So Dr. Ellis would see him in two days, if he wasn’t better by then, and that would be that. The two days he had to wait seemed to crawl by with Misha giving him concerned glances every morning and commenting on his lack of progress on becoming well.
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> On the appointed day Misha took him to Dr. Ellis’s office and gladly filled out all the paperwork while Dr. Ellis did a routine check up and collected some blood and urine, shudder and yuck. Since it was a slow day in the lab if he didn’t mind waiting a bit Dr. Ellis would run a basic battery of tests and see if any of this immediate theory’s on his illness were correct.
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>  
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> He hated to wait but did so anyway when Misha gave him a baleful look and firmly told him that the farm wasn’t likely to fall apart while they waited but he could if it was something serious. So he and Misha sat in the cold exam room and waited, talking about what they would have to do for the coming fall. After what seemed like forever Dr. Ellis came back in with a large smile and a folder with several papers in it.
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>  
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> “Well what’s the verdict? Am I going to croak or can you just give me some antibiotics or something cus I got work to do?” He was so ready to be out of there that it took him a moment to register Dr. Ellis’s prognosis and when he did…well, it wasn’t good.
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>  
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> “Congratulations cowboy looks like you’re going to be a father” Dr. Ellis sounded very happy.
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> But Jensen’s ears were now ringing and he couldn’t hear what the doctor said next. Pregnant? He couldn't be pregnant, he was sterile. Did he even have any eggs left anyway if he wasn’t sterile, which he was. Why was breathing so hard? What was that burning thing on his shoulder that he couldn’t flinch away from? Why was the world tilting and gray and out of focus? Why was he so tired, was it time to sleep? A great darkness came upon him and he surrendered to it without a fight.
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> When he became aware again he was laying on a bed in the doctors more serious rooms and Misha was sitting in a chair beside him. “What happened?” he asked groggily he still felt a bit fuzzy and he was thirsty.
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> Misha held up a cup with a straw hanging out and he latched on to it gratefully taking long sips. When he let it go Misha pulled it away and looked at him sadly. “You had a panic attack Jen” he sounded very serious. “Also you are pregnant” Misha stared right at him not pulling any punches just plowing through the facts.
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> Jensen panicked when he got home and almost called Jared several times but didn’t. He need to think things over for himself before he told Jared. Because when he told Jared he’s have to Jared everything including his past. He’d kept that from Jared talking very little about it and changing the subject as quickly as he could. Now there wouldn’t be a way to avoid it.
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> Jared would be returning in two weeks and Jensen would tell him then and they would work something out. In the meantime he just wouldn’t think about it. Misha could do that for him because he knew Misha was already undoubtedly making plans. Misha would watch out for him until Jared came back. When Jared did come back Jensen was waiting for him in the living room.
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> “Jared we have to talk” Jensen said seriously not getting up to greet Jared.
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> “Um okay” Jared sounded a bit nervous and sat down on the couch turning serious “What’s wrong?”
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> “I don’t know what to say really and I hate beating around the bush so I’ll just be blunt. I’m pregnant.”
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> “What?” Jared would have fallen down if he wasn’t already sitting and he leaned forward towards Jensen’s chair. “How..are you sure? I thought you said you couldn’t have children” Jared started running a hand through his hair. “You can’t be, you can’t.”
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> “Apparently the doctors were wrong and I can be and am pregnant. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with the baby but we’ll be over if that’s the case because I’m keeping it” Jensen’s voice was soft but serious and he made no move towards Jared and his face didn’t change expression.
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> “No, no I love you, a baby it’s” Jared shook his head and sighed “a baby is great but right now the timing is terrible. I um, I have something to tell you too.” Jensen remained silent so Jared went on looking at his hands instead of Jensen. If he looked at Jensen he wasn’t sure if he could get it all out. He knew he should have told Jensen the truth earlier but as time had gone by and they fell in love he wasn’t sure how and every time he thought the timing was right something came up or someone interrupted them.
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> “I do love you I’ve told you that this news doesn’t change that, having a baby with you is good but…” Jared took a big breath and let it out sneaking a peek at Jensen before looking down again. “We already have a baby.”
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> Jensen just looked at him nothing showing on his face and Jared wondered if Jensen had heard him. The silence stretched on and Jared was wondering if he should say something again when Jensen reacted at last. “I don’t understand what are you saying?”
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> “I told you when I first came to the ranch, when I first met you that I wanted to learn the architecture of the ranch that I wanted to do an article on it. And that was true enough in part but it wasn’t the main reason I came. I was actually looking for you because I need you, I still do, now more than ever. I have a daughter, her name is Emily. She is the result of me and a surrogate. However I used a donor egg and not the surrogates or a friends. That egg was yours.”
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> “You must be wrong I never donated any eggs, any eggs I had were fried or dest…”Jensen broke off abruptly. “No, no no no no!” He chanted and shook his head as he got up and began to pace. “They couldn’t have….” he ran from the room not finishing his thoughts and into the bedroom where the sounds of objects falling or being thrown were heard.
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> Jared got up and went to stand in the door way to see what Jensen was doing and to stop him if he was about to hurt himself. Jensen was standing in the open closet doorway moving things and throwing them from the shelf over the hanging clothes. When he appeared to find what he was looking for he moved to the bed. In his hands was an old dusty shoe box which was upended on the bed spilling everything out into a large pile. Jensen pushed the papers around until he spied the right one lifting it out of the mess to read his hand shaking the whole time. Tears flowed from his eyes as he read and Jared went to him to give him support and because he was curious about the paper Jensen had been so desperate to find. As soon as he reached Jensen the man turned on him.
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> “Get out you bastard, get out!” Jensen was yelling and shoving and hitting at Jared’s chest as if he’d gone mad. Tears were running down his cheeks and no doubt making Jensen’s eye sight blurry which was the only reason why he hadn’t punch Jared yet because it was hard to see where to punch.
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> Jared wanted to stay but he heard a commotion in the back of the house and knew Misha must be home. If Misha came in and heard Jensen telling Jared to leave he’d manhandle Jared out or call for help form the ranch hands to do so. Giving in he held up his hands and stepped away from Jensen. “I’ll go for the moment but I’ll giving you a call later. We need to talk about this I can’t leave without that. Misha is coming and will help you calm down because you need to do that. If not for yourself for the baby.” That had been the wrong thing to say as Jensen let out a scream then and Jared in the most cowardice moment of his life fled from the man he loved who needed his help. He left the ranch and checked into a hotel a town over so if an angry Misha or farmhand came looking they would have a harder time finding him.
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> Over the next few days he tried to call Misha when Misha wasn’t calling him to yell and rant and rave at him. He even moved to a hotel further away just to be safe in case Misha ever decided to do some of the things he treated him with in defense of Jensen. Finally after almost a week Misha had stopped railing at him long enough for him to tell Misha the truth of who he was and why he had come looking for Jensen and to assure the man that he still loved Jensen. They had had a very long conversation of what he wanted from Jensen as well. Misha told him that Jensen thought he wanted him just to save Emily, that using him had just been a bonus. Jared had a hard time not crying as Misha told him this and it must have sounded in his voice as he explained that he loved Jensen and would never hurt him intentionally. He would to prove it come back and stand still in the yard and let Jensen shoot him if that’s what would make him feel better.
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> Thus persuaded of Jared’s feelings Misha started working on a plan to get Jensen to talk to him so he could explain all this to him. More so even because there were some things Jared wouldn’t tell Misha, that were for Jensen alone. Meanwhile as Misha worked on Jensen he had to go back New York and Emily. The times he could leave her were becoming less and less and with him not allowed to be around Jensen for the time being it was useless to stay. Misha agreed and so he went back to New York hoping for not one miracle now but two. That Misha could convince Jensen to talk to him so he could ask for help again and for Jensen to be able and willing to help Emily. In the meantime all he could do was be by his little girl’s side and wait for Jensen to call.


	11. Chapter 10

 

> Jensen couldn’t believe he was here sitting in his car parked in front of Angel of Mercy Children’s Hospital. Misha had begged him to go and his own curiosity and guilt weighed on him for the past week. In this modern state of the art hospital was his daughter, the daughter he had only know about for just two short weeks. A daughter that he never thought he could have. The daughter he shared with the man he had fallen in love with. He had been so shocked and angry that he had sent Jared away as the man was trying to tell him about his daughter, their daughter. Alter the shock had begun to wear off betrayal had taken its place, betrayal at the hospital and staff that had transferred his eggs, the fertility clinic that had allowed Jared to buy them and fertilize them, for the woman Jared got to be his surrogate and for the child to be born when at the time he thought he would never have a child of his own. That last bit faded away into guilt that he hadn’t known or felt the child was alive like he imagined parents would and should feel about their children. And at last guilt that his child was sick, as if his own being sick could somehow be blamed even though his eggs had been harvested before he’d gotten the IUD that had given him cancer. He still felt all of these emotions and had recently added shame that he had not contacted Jared about their daughter and had waited so long to find out anything from Misha, who had contacted Jared, and come here.
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> He had not told Misha where he was going when he had set off for New York but he suspected Misha had known. He hadn’t told Jared he was coming either and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Jared right now. He did want to see his daughter, but he was unsure if he wanted her to see him not knowing what or if Jared had told her anything about him. Which was why he had yet to leave his car. Could he even see his daughter without seeing Jared? Would he have access to her without jumping through hoops to get through her door? Only one way to find out.
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> He was slow in everything he did from the moment he opened the car door. He got out slowly, made sure the rental was locked, ambled across the parking lot, shuffled through the main doors and secondary doors, studied the directory and floor plan maps by the elevator which was slow itself as he rode it to the fourth floor where the pediatrics wing was.
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> Almost the whole fourth floor was for the housing and care for young children so he didn’t have far to go until he entered a waiting room with a nurses desk. He took a chair closest to the elevator and watched and waited. There were other families here and some waved to the two nurses behind the counter as they walked into a big hallway lined with doors while a few others had to sign in. He figured that the people who had just walked through were regular or common visitors while the rest were either infrequent or new.
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> He must have sat for almost an hour in which time the nurses had been glancing his way more often and for longer periods of time with confusion and growing suspicion. If he didn’t make his move soon they might just call security on him. So gathering up as much courage as he could he got up and ambled over. The older but shorter of the two nurses looked at him expectantly when he finally stopped inched from the counter and looked at her chin rather than in her eyes.
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> “Um…I…I’m here to visit, er see, an Emily Padalecki?” He winced as it came out a question instead of a statement or even a demand.
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> The nurse lifted a finely sculpted eyebrow and asked “name?”
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> Well so far so good, they hadn’t thrown him out for loitering or being unsure so why not keep going. Besides if he didn’t complete his quest he might not be allowed back in if he even tried to come back and try again. “Jensen, Jensen Ackles.” He was unsure if they would call Jared to ask if he could be admitted, if his name needed to be one a list and since it was most likely not deny him or if they would just log him in and let him through.
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> The nurse pulled a thin binder from under the counter and opened it flipping through its contents until she found the section she was looking for. He couldn’t see anything as she ran a finger down the page she was looking at. When her finger stopped she raised her eyebrow again as she pulled a pen with a fake flower taped to its end from a container on the counter and wrote something on the page.
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> “Sign in here” she gave him the pen and pushed a clipboard over to him that he had seen other people write on earlier. She put away her binder as soon as he had taken the pen and looked at the papers in front of him with surprise and shock. He must be on a list of people approved to see her. Had Misha called Jared to let him know that he was coming or had Jared added his name himself just in case he showed up?
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> In a bit of a daze he provided the chart on the clipboard with his full name (easy), name of patient to see (also easy but took him a moment to spell out), relation to afore mentioned patient (very very hard he almost left it blank but put four letters in, papa) and the time and date (very easy). Once he was done he just stood and waited until the nurse looked at him with annoyance.
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> “This is my first visit, what room is she in?” He was annoyed he’d had to ask but he tried not to let it show just in case the nurse decided she was going to change her mind about letting him visit. She was in room 417 which was almost to the end of the hall on the left and it seemed like it took him a very long time to get there when it really had only been a couple of yards.
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> The door was open and he didn’t hear any voices from inside it was he approached. He stopped just out of sight of anyone inside to see him and for him to see inside. He hesitated before inching forward to peer inside the room.
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> The room was painted in soft pale pink and purple with two big red lazy boy chairs and a large tv in the corner but those were the only normal things about the room. The rest was a typical hospital room with various monitoring machines along the walls steadily beeping away and recording data. Slightly off center of the middle of the room, more towards the window than the door was the standard hospital bed. And inside the bed reclining slightly was the form of a small girl. Emily.
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> She lay awake looking out the window into open sky. He was unsure if she was small for her age or just looked small because the bed was so large cradling her. He did know that she was thinner then she should be but that was probably a side effect of whatever treatment she was getting. She still had her hair but it was dull and hug lifeless down to her shoulders. It had a slight curl a little like Jared’s hair and was a light brown shade, somewhere between his dark sandy brown and Jared’s darker chestnut. Her skin was pale but she had some darker freckles and he would guess when she was healthy that her skin tone was a bit darker. From the angle he was at he could tell her nose was straight and narrow like his and her chin sported the tiniest bit of a cleft like Jared’s. Her lips were turned down in a frown but they were still puffy and pale pink. He didn’t know her eye color but whatever it was he was sure it was beautiful just like the rest of her.
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> She must sense him standing there or catch some bit of reflection of him because she turns over and stares at him. Her eyes are hazel and seem to glow from within as if to show how full of life she still is despite her illness. “Hello” she says and smiles.
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> Like a moth drawn to flame he steps inside her room, “hello” he almost whispers.
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> “Are you one of daddy’s friends?” she looks him over now as if by examining him she can tell who he is.
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> “Y..yes” he hesitates a little because he is not sure exactly what he is to Jared right now. He had been a friend, a lover, but now…he isn’t sure of anything regarding Jared anymore. “My name is Jensen.”
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> Her face flushes and her smile grows wider as she sits up panting a bit with the effort. “I know you, daddy talks about you when he thinks I’m asleep. Are you daddy’s boyfriend?”
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> Jensen is again shocked by the things Jared has done. Jared has told his daughter about him. Well not directly but still saying anything about him in Emily’s presents is not something he had anticipated. However it appears that Jared hasn’t told her or said some of the more intimate parts of their…relations.
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> “Why would you ask that?” he is curious as to just what Jared as said about him.
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> “Because he seems so happy when he talks about you, he smiles again and his voice sounds like it does when he used to talk to me before I came here.”
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> Jensen’s stomach knotted and he felt a pang in his heart for his daughter. She had been here suffering and he’d been happy with Jared, which made him angry at Jared for being with him and not with their daughter. But then again Jared had found him so that he could help his daughter. He couldn’t understand how Jared had justified spending so much time with him, doing….he wasn’t sure what Jared had thought to do with him before revealing his…their…daughter originally or if making him love Jared had been in the plan all along. He was sure he would not have responded well to Jared just showing up and demanding that Jensen help the daughter he never knew he had. Making him like Jared would have been good then telling him but making Jensen love him? Would he have thought Jensen would be so devoted as to not have any problems about helping? He would never know unless he asked Jared and he still was unsure of if he wanted to see him.
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> “Will you take care of him?” Emily’s whispered voice broke through his thoughts. His face must have shown confusion or perhaps she thought he hadn’t heard her. “When I’m...” she hesitated then continued pleadingly “will you take care of him?”
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> He couldn’t say anything for a minute before blurting out something that any parent of a sick child would say. “You’re get better you’re not going to die.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew that he was being naive, there was no way to know what would happen to her.
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> “That’s what daddy says but the doctors say I need help to…cure…” she face scrunched up a bit in the way most people’s faces do when they think they had forgotten or misunderstood something before going on. “And he can’t help me cure even though he wants to. Grandmama says that she and grandpapa can’t help either. Auntie Gen and uncle Chad were helping daddy look for someone to come and help him make me better but I don’t think anyone can. He’s so sad all the time even though he acts like he’s not, but for the past weeks he’s been better. He talks about you when he is better and you must make him happy and I want him to be happy after I go see my fishies in heaven. He told me he has found someone to help me, that he was going to bring them but he came back from his last trip alone and upset, sadder than when the doctors told him I was sick.” She looked at him with an expression that resembled that of a begging puppy and his heart was melting even at the knots in his guts tightened and turned to lead. Jared had a grown up version of that look and that thought didn’t help at all.
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> He was struck by how much she understood of what was going on with her and around her. He was no expert about children but she appeared to be very smart and wise beyond what a small child would be. He wasn’t even sure of her exact age but she could be no older than six possibly almost seven if Jared had gotten his eggs right after he had signed them away. She knew that what made her ill could and might killer her. He was struck with a horrifying thought that she was giving up fighting if she was asking him to be there for Jared if she was not and she seemed sure she wouldn’t be. Because she needed help only he might be able to provide and he felt guilty that if he hadn’t come to see her he might had tried to push the whole out of his mind until it was too late. He decided then that even if he and Jared couldn’t work out anything between them he would help his daughter as much as he was able.
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> “I can’t promise to be there and make him happy, in fact we had a….” he can’t tell her they had a fight and he isn’t sure she would understand if he used the word disagreement instead. His brain raced for a word to get across what he wanted and he discarded argument, tiff, and tantrum as well as a far-fetched expression time out. At last he couldn’t think of anything and just went on “but he did come see me so that I might talk to the doctors about trying to help you. They would need to give me lots of tests first so I can’t be sure if I could or not but he loves you and wants you to stay and make him happy so he traveled a long way to get me. You can promise me to keep fighting to stay while the doctors poke me with all kinds of ouchies and your….daddy…can keep looking.” He knew however that if he didn’t match her well enough with whatever they were looking for that there would be no other help out there for her. He was the last of the Ackles, the other side of her genetics, there were no other relatives on his side to test. That brought a pang that had been buried deep that his family was gone and that he was alone. At least until his baby was born, a sibling to Emily….if he wasn’t the one she needed could she hold on until this new baby was born. A brother or sister that would have the same genetics as Emily, who could possibly be a match for her?
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> It was something he would have to talk over with her doctor…and Jared. He knew now that he couldn’t avoid Jared if he was to do anything for Emily. He was unsure of what right he did or didn’t have in this situation. He wasn’t some anonymous stranger who was donation blood or body parts. He decided that he need to talk to Misha as well, he’d need support before he confronted Jared. “You promise me you’ll keep fighting to get better and I’ll promise to do what I can to help you and…” again he was at a loss of words for what he would do for or with Jared. “I’ll work with your daddy” was what he finally came up with as Emily watched him expectantly.
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> “Pinky promise?” Emily raise her hand up her little fist loosely closed but her pinky finger sticking out slightly closed.
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> Jensen remembered the gesture and that his little sister Mack had used it with him sometimes and his eyes misted over with tears as he reached out his own hand in similar pose and looped his pinky finger in hers. He shook slowly afraid that he could hurt Emily in her weakened state and she smiled at him letting her hand fall back to the bed when he let go.
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> This seemed to be some kind of cosmic que because a moment later the door opened and Jared walked in announcing he had ice cream. Jensen stared at him as if he’d lost his head before realizing that the ice cream was for Emily and that was most likely why she had been alone when he arrived. For some reason he hadn’t thought too hard on why she would have been alone. He had expected to see someone with her when he had first thought about coming in to see her. She was sick and therefor logically would and should be surrounded by family, friends and the people who loved her. But he had arrived and her room had been empty and he hadn’t thought too much about it. Thinking on it now he wondered just who had been staying with her while Jared was with him. He got a flash of guilt that she had been deprived of her father while he’d been with Jared but anger as well that Jared would stay with him so long while she was here. But those thoughts could go round and round in his head forever and wouldn’t help anyone so he pushed them aside and focused on the here and now. Jared and Emily.
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> Jared after staring at him and not getting any response but a stare back had gone to Emily and presented her with a bowl of the proclaimed ice cream. Glancing at it it seemed to be like yogurt for how much it had melted and it made him frown. Where had Jared gone for so long that by the time he returned the ice cream he got would have half melted? Emily didn’t seem to care as she beamed at him and dug into the soupy ice cream mess with enthusiasm. Jared leaned down to whisper in her ear as she was eating and she paused just long enough to look at him and give him a smile before going back to eating. Jared standing up straight gave him a brief tight lipped smile before gesturing towards the door. He nodded and proceeded Jared out so that Emily wouldn’t hear them and whatever they had to say to each other in whatever manner they were going to say it in besides a pleasant one.
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	12. Chapter 11

 

> Jared couldn’t believe his ears or seconds later his eyes when he returned from the cafeteria with an ice cream for his daughter. Jensen! Jensen had come to see Emily! He was unsure of when Jensen had arrived but if he had to hazard a guess it would have been right after he left. Emily was busy chatting away at him but it wasn’t her usually cheery voice. She sounded so sad it broke his heart and when what she was saying finally registered in his brain what was left of his heart wanted to shrivel up and die as if it had never existed in the first place.
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> Not wanting her to go on but not wanting to interrupt and in all probability cause Jensen to leave he waited just outside the door out of sight listening while a bowl of ice cream slowly melted in his hand. He cringed when Emily told Jensen that no one had been able to help cure her from his side of the family. Well she hadn’t said it in so many words but that was the gist of it and he was sure Jensen could grasp the meaning. He had been unaware that she had heard him talk so much about Jensen or that his feelings for him, her other father were so apparent that a five year old could figure them out. He was just glad he hadn’t said a word about Jensen being her other father aloud. He hadn’t wanted to even voice false hopes even if she was sleeping, not there in her room in this hospital, it would have been too much like tempting fate. But he was here now and if there was a merciful god Jensen would agree to help or at least get tested to see if he could help. Jared had a sudden flash of panic and fear that if tested Jensen would prove to be just as poor a match as he was or that even if he was a match he would refuse to help. It wasn’t in Jensen’s nature to do something so cruel as far as he knew him but then again Jensen was carrying a baby. Could Jensen be able to help in his current condition?
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> He heard Jensen and Emily make a pinky promise and decided that he couldn’t take any more of the sad emotions going on when he could alleviate one of them, at least temporarily. Glancing down at the now mostly melted ice cream he frowned but then stood himself up straight and walked into the room announcing his gift for Emily as if he’d only been gone a second and had not known Jensen had arrived or been eavesdropping at the door during his visit.
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> Jensen said nothing as he handed over his diminished prize to Emily and she took it happily and began to eat. He’d need to wipe her down with a wet cloth when she was finished he observed before bending down to speak to her. “Daddy’s going to go talk with Jensen in the hall for a minute okay. We’ll be right outside if you need anything baby.” She paused in eating just long enough to give him a smile before he and Jensen stepped out of the room. He closed to door behind him just in case Jensen decided to yell at him, he didn’t want it to upset Emily when she thought she had made a new friend.
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> When they were out in the hall he and Jensen just kept looking at each other until he decided that he’d have to break the ice. He just hoped that whatever he said didn’t help him drown in Jensen’s eyes. “So you came.” He could cringe for that but since he couldn’t take it back and saying more might make him look even dumber then he thought he was acting now he stayed silent.
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> “Um…yeah I…I just had to see her. She’s a good kid” a fleeting smile flashed across his face but it was replaced by the blank look that had come over his face when he had stepped into Emily’s room.
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> “She is” was all he could say to that. He wanted to tell Jensen more, so much more about his, their daughter. But now was not the time for that. “So now that you’ve seen her?”
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> Jensen looked back at the room and spoke without facing him, it hurt a little but he could understand. This had to be hard for Jensen, hell it would be hard for anyone, but with what had gone on between the two of them. Well he wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone else in the world. He hoped that in the coming future he could get back something of his previous friendship with Jensen, enough to allow him to comfort Jensen when he would need it.
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> “I want to help her, but I’m not sure how or if I can. What exactly is wrong with her?”
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> “She has cancer” at the Jensen gasped and squeezed his eye shut and looked down balling up his fists. “It’s a form of child leukemia and so far it’s been treated with radiation and surgery. It’s pretty much in remission but she needs a bone marrow transplant or it could come back at any time and will most likely do so with a year. I don’t want to put any kind of pressure on you, especially now and after…But she needs that transplant.” Jared felt very low asking this of Jensen who he’d lied by omission about this for so long. To have had the relationship they had and never tell him any of this. Then to knock him up and drop this on his lap. He knew that he was going be be reaping the bad karma from this for a long long time. But he’d do anything for Emily and to try and make it up to Jensen was well if he could.
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> “What would I have to do?” Jensen asked through gritted teeth.
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> He figured that Jensen would very much like to slug him one right now, but he’d never do that so near Emily, his daughter. “You would have to be tested to see if you are a match for her genetically. I am but not enough of one, the better the match the better chances she has that her body won’t reject it and that it will help her fight off whatever is left of the cancer and beat it for good. The doctors wanted to test you but I didn’t know who you were and I…I just had to find you. I know I should have told you about her right away, that was my intention to ask you for help. But I couldn’t the first time and then we became friends and Emily didn’t need the transplant while she was going through radiation. I thought that if you were my friend you would be more likely to help us. But then I fell in love with you and I didn’t want you to feel like I had used you. The longer I waited and more in love with you I was the harder it was for me to tell you about her. And when I was here with her the worse I felt for leaving her and not bringing you to her. I knew that one way or another things were probably going to fall apart but I just pushed it aside. I wanted to live in my fantasy that I could tell you and you could help and everything would get better for Emily and I could still have you. It was stupid and wrong but I can’t say enough how sorry I am this all turned out like this. If you agree to get tested and help Emily if you are a match I’ll do anything you want. Whatever you want, just please think of Emily and don’t let what you with her be tainted by what I did. Please.”
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> Jensen didn’t say anything for a long time, he didn’t move and Jared had a hard time even seeing him breathe. “How would I be tested?”
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> “The doctor would take a needle and scrap off a tiny sliver of the bone in your hip.” Jensen winced and Jared knew the feeling, then the fact that Jensen was pregnant hit him. Would he even be able to give a sample?
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> “What then” Jensen asked sounding strained.
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> “The doctor will test if you are a match. If you are they repeat the process they did to take the sample only they take a lot more. They can use some of it to grow more in the lab, not a lot but enough. Then they put it into the bones of the person who needs it. If the host body doesn’t reject it they incorporate it into their weakened system and begin to grow new cells with the strength of the transplanted cells as blue prints. The new cells boost the immune system and fight off the disease or cancer the patient has.”
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> “Alright give me a minute I need to call Misha, you go get a doctor.” Jensen didn’t wait for a reply he just walked away from Jared.
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> Jared despite having over heard that Jensen had promised Emily to be tested he thought that there was still the possibility Jensen would refuse. Especially after being confronted by him and given that horrible speech. But he shook himself out of his melancholy thoughts and went to find Sasha Emily’s doctor. With Emily still recovering from her last treatment Sasha was still on call if not in the building at the moment. Thankfully she was and came immediately to the head nurses page for her. He told her about Jensen being Emily’s other father and him wanting to be tested. He also told her that Jensen was pregnant and asked if that was going to be a problem.
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> Jensen came back then and talked with Sasha who asked his history and how far along he was. Jared learned that Jensen had had cancer himself as a young adult. That was why his eggs had been donated because he was supposed to be sterile. Sasha explained that he could have been temporarily sterile, his young reproductive system not completely dead just dormant from the shock and poison used to kill the cancer. With the poison gone and healthy cells mending his body his reproductive organs while damaged could still function. And given the longer time to heal without the introduction of birth control hormones and working off some of the hormones he’d taken after treatment to stabilize his system they could have regenerated a bit. With that being said she would like to do a sonogram to see for herself the condition of his reproductive system.
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> Jensen agreed to this because he was worried for his baby’s health and because he didn’t know exactly how far alone he was. All he’d managed to get from his local doctor was that he was pregnant before he left the office. Sasha took him down a floor to use the sonogram machine in the maternity ward, babies not yet born had many medical needs too and high risk babies were born here where specially trained doctors could see and help them seconds after birth.
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> Sasha had asked if Jensen wanted Jared in the room and he had expected Jensen to refuse Jensen surprised him by letting him in. When Jensen was ready and settled on the table Sasha began. It turned out that Jensen was just about ten weeks along putting the baby’s conception on the first goodbye trip sex they’d had and very near the first time they had sex. With a little wiggle room because Sasha couldn’t be exact the baby could have very well been conceived the first time they’d had sex. From what Sasha could gather about his reproductive system was that while functioning it was damaged. Jensen would have to very careful if he wanted this baby to reach full term.
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> Jensen persisted in knowing if he could help Emily or if after the baby he or even the bay could. Sasha agreed that Jensen could be tested if he was sedated lightly but the baby would be too young to help Emily and the baby wouldn’t be there for a long time if it came at all and Emily might not be able to wait that long. If she did and Jensen wasn’t a match the baby’s stem cells in the placenta might be able to help.
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> Jensen agreed to be tested and Sasha called in a whole team of nurses to help and monitor so that Jensen wouldn’t be put under any more stress then could be helped. The doctor promised the results of the test the next day. Jensen refused his offer of hospitality until he learned that he himself would not be going home that night. He was going to stay with Emily and as her father he was allowed. So Jensen took his house key and went to stay in his home returning early the next day to learn the results of the test.
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> Jensen was an almost perfect match for Emily. He agreed to help but he couldn’t be harvested until closer till the time Emily needed the marrow. Three weeks was the set date for Jensen’s marrow harvest. He would go home to deal with his affair and make his plans. After the marrow harvesting he would need to stay and be observed for at last five to six days to make sure he was healing and that the baby was fine. Jensen gave Jared permission to tell his family about his donating the marrow to Emily. They would know from that that he was Emily’s other father but he didn’t want them to know about his baby. Fist he was unsure if he could actually take the bay to term and if he did he was as of yet unclear of his relationship with Jared.
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> So after three tense weeks of waiting and hoping Jensen returned to New York with Misha in tow. His family was very happy to meet Jensen and laid praise and thanks upon him. Gen brought him home cooked meals to eat instead of the hospital food, even though it was pretty decent. Chad had apologized profusely for his part in helping Jared find him but defended that it was all for Emily and not to have any bad feelings towards her. Chad had even offered to do him any favors or help him out of a tight spot in the future should he need it. JD was just thankful that Jensen had agreed to help with everything he’s been through since he knew a little of Jensen’s past hear it from Jared when he talked to himself as he drew plans at work and though no one was listening.
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> Misha kept his distance form all except JD to whom he was instantly smitten but tried to resist for Jensen’s sake. Jensen saw it and told Misha to go for it, he didn’t feel any animosity towards Jeff and it wasn’t like they were going to stay. They could have a little fling while Jensen recovered. He was going to stay until after Emily’s transplant operation anyway to make sure that she was on a good road to recovery and that her body didn’t reject his bone marrow.
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> Everything went well over the course of the next two weeks. Jensen handled the bone marrow harvesting well and so did his baby, Emily’s transplant surgery went off without a hitch and a week later showed no signs of rejection. Jensen had told them he’d keep in touch to see how Emily was doing and he and Misha headed him. It turns out Misha did have that fling with JD because a week after Jensen had returned home he’d called Jared in a rage and JD in tears that Jensen was in the hospital. He’d over done it and put himself and the baby at risk. The baby was just hanging on and Jensen was having a very hard time. Making plans for Gen to watch Emily he and JD got on the next flight they could to Texas.
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> By the time they got there Jensen had recovered somewhat but was beating himself up with guilty and the baby was only slightly stable. Jensen had been ordered to bed rest if he wanted to keep the baby. Jared was so angry that Jensen would put himself and the baby at such risk when he could hire extra man at the ranch he was silent for half his first visit for fear he would say something he’d regret in anger. In the end Jensen who had argued against hiring out help to people he didn’t know at the low of the season when all the workers he wanted were away Jared made him an offer.
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> Emily was getting better and could be released from the hospital for short visits soon but still needed regular checkups. She had a good growing relationship with Jensen and a curiosity about the ranch. Jared would go stay with her for a bit and JD would stay with them and help out. When Emily could be released he would bring her to Texas. Hs family was here and there were good doctors to be had. Jared would take over helping out while JD went back to New York and Emily would be able to come and visit with Jensen. Jensen could stay on bed rest.
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> This idea seemed good to everyone but Jensen and only because he was grouchy, scared for his baby still and his pride was bruised. In the end he agreed and he and Misha went to work out the detail. Misha got Jim up to speed and on board and Jared got his family on the job of watching Emily when she came and they even agreed to help pitch in at the ranch doing what they could. Everything settled he went back to New York to take care of getting Emily ready, getting a new doctor with Sasha’s help and working the business with Gen.
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> In no time he was back in Texas with Emily by his side…almost. She had to be checked into the hospital and stay overnight to make sure the trip had been agreeable to her. When everything checked out Jared brought her to see the ranch and say goodbye to JD. Emily loved to place even though she was almost as confined to the house as Jensen was.
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> Over the next few weeks Jared stayed with Jensen, helped out on the farm and worked with Misha to keep him in bed as much as possible. The days when Emily came to visit were the better days. They got to know each other and in turn his relationship with Jensen improved as well. They told Emily about the baby finally and she was excited. She spilled the surprise to the rest of the family though. Another surprise was that JD came back with Gen towards the end of Jensen’s seventh month of pregnancy. He had packed up shop and was moving his business to be nearer his business partner he’s said but Gen spilled that it was also because of a certain someone whose name started with an M. JD and Misha had been talking nightly since he’d left and they wanted to give their relationship a good try. Gen didn’t have much in New York besides her job since he had moved to be with Jensen and taken Emily with him. So when JD had packed up so had she.
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> In no time at all JD had re-established himself in a nice little office a few towns over and was back in business, which was still booming despite the change of headquarters. The ranch was running smoothly thanks to Gen’s helping out with Jared and Jim and a few men. Emily had a pretty permanent residence at the house and he was allowed back into Jensen’s room. Their relationship wasn’t back completely to the way it had been before but then again neither of them were the same men they had been when they’d met. They knew a lot more about each other know and had stood up to each other’s quarks now that they lived full time in the same house. By the time Jensen was due he was ready and so was everyone else. Jensen had been just about driven crazy with his confinement and so was driving everyone else there too. More than a week after Jensen’s due date and with no baby plans were made. A big seasonal storm was coming in and once it passed they were going to the hospital to get the baby out. Emily was sent off to her grandparents and Gen went to see Chad who was in Dallas for work while Misha and JD and Jim helped him batten down the ranch for the storm.
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> The storm came faster than expected though so by the next morning they caught the edges of it. It only got worse as the day went on and by evening it was terrible. Jim had gone out earlier in the day to check on the neighbors after making sure all the animals were secure. Only the four of them remained in the house. Misha was cooking and JD had braved the weather to go get extra wood for the fire place if the power went out. That was when Jensen had screamed for the first time.
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> In the middle of the storm of the year Jensen had gone into labor.
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	13. Chapter 12

 

> Labor had come late for Jensen and he hadn’t been expecting it so by the time he or anyone knew what was going on he was pretty far along.
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> A hospital was too far away in the storm that was raging but there was a midwife in the town over. She had been called to come and help Jensen deliver.
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> Jensen was screaming and arching on the bed, hands clenched in the sheets, feet pressed flat on the mattress pushing for all he is worth, panting hard when he isn’t screaming.
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> “Misha where the hell is the midwife?” Jared turned his head to yell out the door to where Misha was standing out in the hall with the house phone pressed to his ear. He didn’t wait for an answer before turning back to Jensen and wiping his brow with a damp wash cloth. His other hand was covering one of Jensen’s clenched fists. He, Misha and even JD had come running to his first screams. JD had been sent out to see if he could get help when the midwife hadn’t arrived after they had called.
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> Jensen let out another yell as another contraction came and Misha came back into the room tossing the phone onto the dresser. Just as Misha settled down next to the side of the bed opposite Jared the door downstairs banged down.
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> “Boys? Misha?” JD’s voice shouted as the door slammed shut and scuffling noises came towards the stairs.
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> “Oh thank god” Misha sighed “Up here” he shouted and the sound of heavy boots came as JD and someone else came thundering up the stairs. A minute later JD entered the room with Jim behind him.
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> “The drive is washed out and there are some trees blocking the road there is no way to get to town but look who I found.” JD moved aside as Jim came around him and went to kneel down next to Jared beside Jensen on the bed.
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> “Sorry to say boy but it looks like I’m the closest you’re going to get to a midwife today.” He looked Jensen over just as Jensen had another contraction and tried to come off the bed. “Jesus boy hang on,” he turned to JD without getting up “Jeff get my bag and quick.”
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> JD left the room and hustled down stairs and back out the door.
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> “How long has this been going on?” Jim started checking Jensen’s eyes and pulse not caring who answered him.
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> “He was feeling bad this morning but ignored it as being sore from the harvesting. I drew him a bath and he stayed in there for a long time. We think his water broke while he was in the tub. By the time we figured what was going on the power had gone out and the storm was here. We sent JD out while Misha worked on the generator” Jared gave Jim the information he needed.
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> “Alright but how long has it been since he started this exorcism routine?” Jim was now trying to manhandle Jensen out of his shirt. “Let go of the bedding boy” Jim ordered. Jared and Misha had to help Jensen release the sheets long enough for Jim to get his shirt off and then Jensen’s hands were back to their strangle hold on the sheets.
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> “About an hour maybe a little more” Jared winced in sympathy as Jensen let out a cry and tried not to buck upwards.
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> “I need to take a look at him to see what’s going on if he comes to any try to tell him” Jim said moving down to tug Jensen’s boxers off. He let out an oof as he got kicked taking out Jensen’s second leg but just kept right on working. Once Jensen was free of his clothing he went back to the same position he’d been in for over the past half hour. Jim with a little maneuvering managed to wedge himself between Jensen’s legs and peer down at the birthing passage. “I don’t see a problem there” he muttered before swiveling his head to look at both Jared and Misha as he gave his next command. “You’ll need to hold him down I need to feel his stomach and I can’t have him pushing me away or moving around too much.”
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> Just then JD came back into the room two large bags in hand and nearly dropped them at the sight. “Um” was all he could say before Jim barked more orders at him.
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> “Don’t just stand there man bring them closer and then go and get the biggest bowls you can find and get me hot water, cold water and soap. More towels too after you get the water and soap now hurry.” Jim turned all his attention to Jensen dismissing JD without another thought. By then Jared and Misha had a good hold on Jensen. Jim placed his hands on Jensen’s round belly and glided them from side to side and up and down a constant pressure throughout. Jensen tried to struggle away from the pressure Jim had him under but with Misha and Jared holding him he didn’t succeed.
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> “The baby’s all turned around I need to straighten it out” Jim said continuing to run his hands over Jensen’s belly. Only now they were in a rhythmic pattern in a crescent motion. He was also exerting more pressure on Jensen who kept letting out screams. Jeff came back in after a practically loud scream with a multitude of towels draped over his arms and shoulders. It looked like he had raided everything linen closet in the house. Held in his arms was a large stew pot of hot water judging from the steam rising from the top. A little spilled out as he set it down by Jim before shanking off the towels and lastly taking a bar of soap from where he’d been holding it between his teeth. He turned around and thundered down the stairs only to come back up with a slightly smaller pot of cold water which got put on Jim’s other side.
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> Jim left his task to quickly wet and lather part of a smallish towel and wipe down Jensen’s stomach and then lower around his privates and birthing canal. Then he washed his hands and got back to the job of working on Jensen’s stomach. After a minute he instructed Jeff to take Misha’s place and for Misha to wash his hands. Misha did so and Jim showed him what to do to Jensen’s stomach. Once Misha took over for Jim, he began to look at and probe Jensen around the birth canal.
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> “I’m gonna need to help the little bugger from the inside a bit” he said and just about everyone winced except Jensen who was in too much pain to be paying any attention. “It mostly right side up but it’s started down the canal and I think I can turn it the rest of the way from this end. Misha keep up the turns, guys hold him down this is not going to be comfortable.”
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> With a little soap Jim started easing himself into Jensen’s dilated passage. After a moment he started a slow twisting motion that had Jeff and Jared redoubling their efforts as Jensen tried to serge off the bed. The torture seemed to go on forever and Jared wasn’t sure how much more any of them could take when the scream from Jensen’s throat cut off abruptly. Jared looked up at his face to see if they had killed him but he was still breathing. In fact his mouth was open and he was panting hard and eerily silently.
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> “Here we go” Jim said and everyone’s gaze went to him as he leaned back a bit his hands reaching for some towels to place against Jensen’s butt. “Give a downward sweep now Misha lets help Jensen out.”
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> Misha repositioned himself and starting from the top of Jensen’s belly moved down applying pressure. Jensen would grunt as Misha did so and after a moment Jim smiled. “A few more Misha. Almost there.” A few pushes later and Jim was grabbing the head and shoulders and gently pulling free body and legs of Jensen’s baby. Jim immediately started to clean the baby off so he could have a better look at it. “Keep up the pushing Misha, don’t let go boys it’s not over just yet” Jim instructed not looking up from him work. As soon as he had finished speaking a loud wail came from the baby and it seemed as if the room seemed to sign and all the tension left.
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> Jim bundled the baby up, made a nest for it next to Jensen’s head and laid it down. He went back to the end of the bed just in time to catch something really gross coming from Jensen that Jared want to gag from seeing. “After birth” Jim supplied wrapping that up and setting it aside. “You can stop now Misha, help me clean him up. Jeff, Jared go get another room ready for us we need to get him off this filthy bed.
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> Jared was reluctant to leave but Jeff pulled him along. They decided to move him to the room next to the bathroom and turned down the bed and fluffed pillows. They went back into the other room and Jared was instructed to carry Jensen who seemed to be much better and lucid. Jim had apparently given him a relaxant and Misha had redressed him. Jim brought the baby in fresh towels and as soon as Jensen was settled with Jared beside him Jim handed over the baby.
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> “It’s a boy and far as I can tell healthy as a horse. I’m gonna go see if I can’t raise anyone to come out and help check on him.” With that Jim left and after a moment Misha led Jeff out to give them time alone with their new son.
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> “He’s all squishy and wrinkly” Jensen said as he looked down at Jack but he had a smile on his face and in his eyes.
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> “Yeah they all look like that for a while” Jared’s voice had a bit of laughter in it. He had been there when Emily was born and Brooke before that. He was sure Jensen since living on this ranch had seen baby animals born but this was entirely different. This was a human baby and not just any but his own. Jared had remembered being much more interested in and less grossed out by the birth of Emily then he had been of Brooke. He figured that part of the reason was because Emily had been his while Brooke was his niece since both births had messy and...Yeah best not to dwell on that, especially considering this birth.
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> “Jack” Jensen said and caressed the baby’s cheek gently with his forefinger. The baby yawned and squired for a moment but settled without further fuss.
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> Jared had thought of a few names and was going to bring them up with Jensen but never really had much of a chance with all the work and taking care of Emily. But Jack was a good name and since he had named Emily it was only fair that Jensen name their son. “Jack it is” he longed to touch Jack too but he’d let Jensen have his time with the baby, he’d get his later. So instead he kissed Jensen’s temple and smile at him when Jensen could tear his gaze away from Jack to smile at him in return.
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> They spent several minutes in silence Jared holding Jensen and Jensen holding their son. Eventually the world came back as Jim stuck his head in. He informed them of the gross fact that he had stored the placenta in the freezer for later transport to the hospital and was about to go burn the ruined bedding because Misha and Jeff were indisposed at the moment in comforting each other. Jared bust out laughing while Jensen scowled at the too much information on his friends activities.
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> Not long after that Jack woke up and wanted to be fed, which embarrassingly Jim had to help him with at first while Jared went to get a bottle. Jensen had decided to try and give him as much breast milk as possible, which wasn’t much considering carries breasts didn’t truly enlarge like a woman’s. He could give a limited amount but the rest would be formula. Misha and Jeff having become decent were given the task of finishing the burning and cleanup of any surface and object used in Jack’s birth before being sent out to flag down the ambulance that could finally reach them.
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> Jensen and Jack got to ride to the hospital to be checked over and Jared and Jeff followed in the truck as it was too dangerous to have Jared ride with Jensen due to road and weather conditions. Misha would stay behind in case anything happened on the ranch and Jim would come later when the storm was calmer or had passed. At the hospital Jensen and Jack both checked out well and Emily got to see her little brother for the first time. One of the nurses was kind enough to buy a disposable camera and take pictures for them. Jared called his family and many loud congratulations were given and dates for visits made. By the time Jim arrived everyone but Jeff was asleep. With the storm over and all well at the hospital Jim and Jeff collected baby items and cloths the boys would need in town and dropped them off for the morning.
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> Jensen, Jack and Jared got to leave the next day after lunch and coming home found the house set up for every ease and thing they needed. The neighbors who had come to check on them while they were in the hospital and informed that the baby had come had helped finish the nursery and Emily’s new room, her old one was now the nursery and baby proof the house. There were also gifts for the baby and Emily and tons of food in the fridge and freezer, which Jim had assured had been cleaned first. Jensen and Jared couldn’t have been more thankful.


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 

> Emily finished recovering enough to come home for good to the ranch two months after Jack was born with no more than an annual checkup. As much as they loved her both Jared and Jensen were thankful for those two months when she was at the hospital or with her grandparents who lived closer to the hospital. Jack has a bit of an adjustment for Jensen who took a while to recover from Jack’s birth and not having a second child running around the house was good. When Emily did come, Jared and the rest of his little hodgepodge of a family were there to help out. Between Jared, Misha, Jeff who was now almost a permanent feature to his household, Jim and the rotation of Jared’s family and friends everything that came up was attended to quickly and efficiently. Which of course meant another adjustment period when the family finally departed and two months later Misha and Jeff moved to a place of their own.
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> With Misha gone Jim takes over more of the ranch operations like he had before Jensen and Misha had arrived. He is gruff on the surface like he was when Jensen first arrived but underneath or when the kids are around he’s all teddy bear.
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> Jeff with Jared’s help and Gen’s mock complaining had moved his firm’s headquarters to Dallas. It was a bit of a drive so he worked half the time at home. Gen still worked for them but only part time since moving to Texas she also found that she could have a decent modeling career and excelled at it.
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> Chad stayed in New York but seasonally spending half the year in Texas working with the Marshalls or Rangers or Border Patrol even. He became an uncle to Jack as much as he’d been on to Emily.
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> Jack, born on the ranch that he will grow up on with a large extended family to love him grows like a weed. Emily fell in love with the place as soon as she arrived and is already pointing out parts to her little brother that she loves best. Jared had designed very detailed and complicated looking plans for a playhouse for Emily and a tree house for Jack even though it will be a while yet before his son can use it. Maybe by then if Jared can talk Jensen into it they will have more children but for now things are perfect with his little family.
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this story please leave comments or kudos! Thanks!


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